It’s always so painfully obvious when a post of this nature is in order.
People do not volunteer negative opinions, slander or lies about another person without some sort of personal agenda.
If you blindly act on unverified information, you do the victim a huge disservice.
Worse, you do a disservice to yourself.
I’m a Law Clerk. Both sides are heard before judgement is passed.
Makes sense, n’est-ce pas?
She opens the file surreptitiously. As if someone might see and scold her and truth is, they would. He burned a lot of bridges on this side of the screen.
There are times though, less pathetic than you might think, that she feels she has to visit him. Mostly, it’s a need to understand, for validation. The reason is: with each passing day as he fades further into oblivion and as she feels more and more like some curious relic on display; she has a need to remind herself that they were. That no matter what came after, no matter whom, he loved her.
He encouraged her fey notions of happily ever after and fed her on dreams of a place for the two of them. It doesn’t matter so much now what’s happened, been discovered, other than the sense of unreality that it is gone.
The file though… The file has the words, the photos, the promises, the lies, the searing passion and utter despair that swept both of them up and along like the tornadoes he always spoke of.
It’s true that she reads it mostly in moments of weakness. A careless turn of phrase can bring it on, or the visitors to her zoo, the curious, the spurious, the healers. Perception is everything, she reminds herself and she knows about how he fed perceptions. She’s seen it. She needs to see the proof for herself. And yes, there it is. He loved her.
The file is the proof that once upon a time, they had a future. Once, they dreamed together and the world was going to be theirs.
She can return to her position of strength after these witching hour visits to yesterday. She couldn’t stay to watch his descent into madness. She couldn’t give anymore than the everything that she already had. At the end, she likes to believe that he finally understood that.
She clicks the file closed, takes the hand of a ghost, secure in what she knows…
12 January 2015
I always rather liked Karma. We’ve disagreed – my fault – a time or two but mostly, she’s done me square.
What I like about Karma, is that she’s all about balance and she totally let’s you take the wheel.
Unlike Revenge which can be driven by mindless rage, however well justified that may be.
Not like Justice either. Justice looks after the blacks and whites. She misses a lot of the grey area where our selfish justifications live.
Karma’s simply about bringing the universe back into alignment. The keeper of Newton’s Third Law.
Sometimes, Karma has a warped sense of humour. She sure has got me a few times!
Finding a mouldy blob in the fridge instead of the piece of chocolate cake you hid from your brother is Karma.
Karma gets a bad rap but that’s because she hangs out with humankind so much.
Her favourite messengers aren’t typically the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
No. Usually, it’s just another human. Delivering the lesson, be it good or bad.
That’s not to say that her invisible kick in the seat of your ethics isn’t gonna hurt like a bastard.
Or that onlookers might not be glad that it does. Let’s face it: Karma can borrow Justice’s clothes
Man! She has a resting bitch face that looks a hell of a lot like Revenge too.
Karma doesn’t pick the sides though. She’s the ripples in this ocean caused when YOU drop the stone.
It’s all about balance.
You have an affair with someone else’ partner on-line. Justice is like, “What? I didn’t see that”. Revenge is all, “Let me at that skank bitch”. Karma doesn’t judge. She doesn’t give a shit.
It’s just balance. Time, tide and flow.
Eventually, the ripples are going to reach the opposite side of Life’s shore.
Maybe to the woman who has the passwords to his computer.
With that: the cycle and lessons of Karma for each of us as individuals begins.
5 October 2014
If I have lost your friendship because I spoke the truth…
Then you did not deserve mine
21 August 2014