Aside

So-o-o…

Spammers have reached a whole new low. One would have thought that lower than a snake’s balls in a wagon rut would be the lowest but no.
This AM, I received an email from a friend who died from brain cancer two years ago.
Fuck you Hackers and may the fleas of a 1000 gorillas infest your hairy bits.

While I’m on that…

Ladies, you aren’t going to get anywhere with me if your email subject line begins with “Desperate For..”, “Hungry For…” or “I’ll Keep U Up All Night”.
I really like a woman who can spell if we’re going to get up to some Pat-A-Cake and if you’re desperate… there are apps for that.

Just sayin’…

~ kei
5 September 2016

Finding Inspiration

So… I hate spam and spammers are like, the carbuncle on the arse of the Internet, IMHO.

However, after seeing this statistic, I’m feeling like maybe I could use some of the spammers’ persistence and dedication.

Spammers: Get a real job.

Spammers: Get a real job.

The thought of how many stories and poems I could produce, if only I had the single-mindedness of a spammer is inspiration wrapped up in a cod liver oil capsule.

30, 003 spam comments. That equates to 10, 001 for each year that I’ve been on WordPress and 100 times the number of legit comments I’ve accumulated. These numbers reflect what Akismet has caught. Being OCD, I regularly delete many misspelled missives every day. I never do so without marvelling at the creative content – the length, the characters, the subjects! Atrocious spelling, bizarre sentence structure and assumptions about my sexuality, prowess and preferences notwithstanding…

Anywayyyy…

Congrats Akismet, you save this gal from having to come up with supercilious, condescending and scatological responses to all these “comments” Keep up the good work – seriously – and perhaps consider a feature for we do-it-yourself comment killers…?

I’d love if each time I deleted a spam post, the originator got the equivalent voltage of a cattle prod up their nose!!

~ kei
3 June 2015