I had woken up very early, what with the strange bed, unfamiliar sounds. It took a few moments to get my bearings, the flight had been not too bad, only a little turbulence to mess with my superstitious self. Our meeting at the airport had been… just like in the novels and best Hollywood movies. I can’t remember a time before that when I had been so nervous, seems funny in the retrospect of almost twenty-four hours. I’m sure that we caused some amusement among the late night arrivals and departures. It’s been forever since I travelled alone and I was know that I looked like a lost waif with my beat up World Famous purse and a backpack that sported hand-me-down buttons and badges from punk rock icons of the 70’s and 80’s. I kind of felt like a deer in the headlights when I walked into the terminal at PDX. All the crazy thoughts and rollercoaster emotions that you get when you’re doing something a little risky, a little out of your comfort zone, a little wild… Those and more ricocheted through my brain. “What am I doing? What if he isn’t here? What if this was all a dream? What if..
All of that fell away when I saw his tall frame in front of one of the inbound flight monitors. My heart did a somersault. Good to know it still can after all this time but the weak knees were a bit of a surprise. I thought I was WAY past that. He looked even more handsome than his pictures. It was the way he moved, deliberate, contained power… and the smile that lit up his face when he dropped his gaze from the screen and looked right at me. I swear, time slowed and all other sounds and people dropped away. It was just us, looking at each other. I could feel tears coming and all the strength seemed to run out of my arms and legs. The backpack slipped unheeded from my suddenly nerveless fingers and I managed a couple wavering steps toward him, a distance that he seemed to teleport over, and then, we were in each other’s arms.
I don’t remember everything we talked about, right now it’s still a delicious blur and I just want to write down what I can and fill it in later… I’m still in a hazy, warm blanket of love and laughing and total contentment.
We drove home to his loft and I don’t think either of us took a breath between talking and laughing the entire trip from the airport. Any nervousness I’d had disappeared within minutes. We fell into our rhythm and pattern of all the last months of chatting through email, letters, etc. Me, constantly interrupting – damn ADD – and then falling all over myself to apologize, him laughing at me because it’s the same when I type or chat. We stopped at the little Thai place across the street from his building for takeaway to go with the Pinot Grigio I’d picked up at the duty-free.
When we pulled into his driveway, the butterflies in my stomach decided to try another flight pattern. We sat for a moment, listening to the engine tick down as it cooled. He took my hand in his, kissing my fingertips as he looked at me, then popping his door and tipping his head with a smile in the direction of his building said, “Your castle My Queen.”
Again, my legs seemed to have forgotten the trick to walking. Watching him grab my backpack from the car and his easy movement to the door, the heady magic that his deep lilt was weaving in my head… the lift ride up to his flat seemed to take the most delicious amount of time, all I wanted was to be in his arms.
Unlocking his door, he stood back to let me in. My breath quickened simply at being in his world, here with him at last… I dropped my bag on the floor, turning to watch him close and lock the door. He grinned, tossing the keys into the air, then tucking them into his pocket. “Home sweet home…”, he said, taking a step toward me and in that moment, looking up into his eyes, feeling the warmth and beauty of him in person, I felt like I had come home. I held my arms open to him and he swept me into his hug. The kiss at the airport terminal had held a promise of a bonfire to follow the sparks, and the flare was immediate and intense.
No more words, no need for words as his body moulded itself to mine, as my tongue found his and told him everything he needed to know. Thought burned away and only desire spoke, the last coherent words in my mind, as our bodies collided with the wall and we couldn’t tell anymore where his body ended or where mine began, was his name…
8 May 2014