I think Introverts have a different definition of lonely.
It’s not that we feel alone without people.
It’s that we feel lost without the people who we understand to have defined us.
~ kei
3 March 2016
I think Introverts have a different definition of lonely.
It’s not that we feel alone without people.
It’s that we feel lost without the people who we understand to have defined us.
~ kei
3 March 2016
I’m not asking for much
Certainly, not more than what you could so easily give
Just this
A kiss
That piece of me that you hold in your memory
Because I have lost myself
My world is off its axis
And just once
I’d like to feel whole again
Complete
Loved
Beautiful
The way I did when I could see me
Reflected, refracted
Every facet diamond cut and perfect
In the depths of umber
That are your eyes
~ kei
21 September 2015
I see the key has been dropped
Still I fear to leave my prison
One simply acclimatises you see
Though it goes against all reason
Thoughts of you all through my head
Do I dare to step outside
There’s a rage in the cage
This desire I cannot hide
Just a word is all I need
To transition to free
Imprisoned here in my dreams
I beg of you rescue me
~ kei
29 July 2015
You don’t know what it’s like…
Ever the little match girl
Shivering outside the hall
Watching people come and go
New and old, all welcomed
With hearts, flowers
Euphemistic hugs and “huns”
Sisterhood claimed
But only for the chosen ones
There is no real sisterhood
Behind these walls of glass
Melancholy?
Yes. As I wave goodbye
To another stranger
I could throw a rock
To break the walls
Shatter the false illusions
Instead, I’ll square my shoulders
Souldering on with my integrity
Those who choose to listen to a snake’s whispers
Those of tribe hearts, hugs and smileys
Are too false and too shallow
For walking wounded like me
Remain in your palace of glass
Far too hard to make a true effort
And it will come to pass
That truth will be revealed
Duplicity and lies can’t be forever
Concealed
~ kei
13 July 2015
It’s the mornings when I miss you most…
Where on tousled sheets your scent lingers
It’s the afternoons when I miss you most…
Discussions from Thai, to travel, to singers
It’s the nightfall when I miss you most…
Because my body craves your fingers
I miss you at all hours of the day and week but what’s a girl to do
I’m missing the man who’s my Heathcliff
And the ghost that I love
… is you
~ kei
29 May 2015
Sometimes the things I feel most deeply are the hardest to capture in the form and structure of words…
My recurring thought leading up to today is that once it meant everything to me, to us and is now reduced to a box on a calendar. There are days still when your absence causes an ache just like the pain of a phantom limb.
I used to scoff when I’d read or hear that the reason for a breakup or divorce was “He / She changed”. People don’t change, I thought. I was so young and could afford a lot of black and white opinions. The truth is; we do. We grow and that itself is change. We are tested and tempered. Family, money, health, children… We say that we’ll stand by each other through that but can’t ever know just how hard it can be. We emerge from each year a revision of ourselves. Sometimes, we just become more completely what we are.
I’m okay many days in a row now but… I will always miss how you made me feel like it was you and me against the world and I am glad we are still friends of a sort. In this sentimental moment, on a day that should have been a wedding anniversary…
I just wanted you to know that I will always hold you in the small of my heart.
~ kei
25 May 2015
black words, white paper
black shadow, white snow
black and white film
erotic picture show
his black heart beats
on my snow-white skin
the pain I know, calling again
open the door, let him in
he holds every card
so give up, give in
this game we’ve been playing
let go, let him win
for as time passes
his entreaties grow
and i’d rather be hurt
by the devil i know
~ kei
2012