I Shouldn’t Give A Shit

… but I do

Maybe because I’m a First born, we are known for our innate need for Justice, for fairness, for “Even Stephens”. Or maybe it’s because I’m a Dual Capricorn. It could be my Legal background or because I’m a Mum. At any rate, recovery from an abusive situation hasn’t lessened my ability to read the signs.

I’ll call it for being descended from Cerridwen and Tailesin, for being a daughter of Glooscap. Certainly, it doesn’t take degrees or Mensa to read a shift in the wind or more aptly, a Klimt on acid-like arrangement of binary code.

Are you with me?

Hell. Even I have trouble keeping up to my ADD / OCD thoughts once they’ve been stirred in that old and horrifyingly familiar way. He used to have me up at all hours of the night – his favourite torture – doing Internet recon missions for his real paranoia and his self-constructed “evidence”.

I feel like that right now.

Watching the same old patterns. The same old everything, regardless to who I am or what I do. The patterns repeat because people don’t change, especially those with something to hide or something to lose.

Slander is a prosecutable offence.

Sometimes I wish I was an American with that penchant for suing. It’s not like I don’t have enough evidence. I simply don’t have the cycles to sue people who are pathetic. They have to live in their skin. That’s punishment enough.

I content myself with the knowledge that Police files and my friends and family, those who were there, who saw, heard, interfaced with… and eventually saved my life; know the truth. It does hurt at times though, especially when another cycle of this all-too-visible bullying begins.

I will never understand how people can spend hours, days, weeks – talking to people, talking to experts, reading – about how to buy a fucking cellphone but when it comes to something as important as the character and reputation of another human being…

All it takes is one slanderous voice – one sad, pathetic voice – whispering complete and utter lies and you won’t raise one fucking question (start with “Who the hell would do that??!”) or one fucking finger to check the source.

Still with me? Probably not. Whatever. Half this shit never gets read anyway.

I’m sick of slander, I’m sick of lies. I’m sick of two-faced friends, I’m sick of it all. Like I said, you don’t need to be a psychic to read patterns of behaviour. So if all it takes for you to walk away from me, is the equivalent of one GT Boutique flyer’s worth of info to my Library of Alexandria’s worth… than by all means, please fuck the hell off and go hang out with the other God-spouting, deluded, morons.

I’m done.

~ kei
16 September 2015


I Got Nuthin’

… but I did stumble over this in my virtual wanderings. It’s funny and very relevant for me right now. Personally, I’d love if The Gossip got a kick in the arse every time they spread their fertilizer… A girl can dream!

How to Squelch Malicious Gossip: 15 Steps (with Pictures).

View From The High Road

Walk a mile in my moccasins

Before you choose

To abuse

You didn’t climb my mountains

You didn’t ford my white water

There are days that I can barely breathe

When victory is getting off my knees

If you think you’ve a right to judge me

Remaining too indifferent to compare

I hope you aren’t teaching young minds

Your lazy notion of fair

Walk a mile in my moccasins

Before you choose

To abuse

~ kei
10 July 2015


It’s always so painfully obvious when a post of this nature is in order.

People do not volunteer negative opinions, slander or lies about another person without some sort of personal agenda.

If you blindly act on unverified information, you do the victim a huge disservice.

Worse, you do a disservice to yourself.

I’m a Law Clerk. Both sides are heard before judgement is passed.
Makes sense, n’est-ce pas?

Beware Of The Half Truth

The Preface

I paused for a moment, watching the haze of condensation on the outside of my wine glass.

“Yes. It’s true that I made some bad decisions and telling myself that they were made with best of intentions… well, we can talk about that crap later. Bottom line is, I never pretended to be someone’s friend and then moved in on their husband the second that the wife was out of the picture.”

The interviewer leaned forward, setting down his glass of wine. This part of the story was off the record. He looked at me from under lowered brows, elbows on knees, hands loosely clasped. His phone was off, he’d kept his word.

All I wanted was for my side of the story to be heard. Too many people had formed opinions based on their own narrow little worlds, their own wants and needs. Not a fucking one of them ever stopped to consider that I loved my husband. Always had, always would.

Sometimes, there just has to be a bad guy and for whatever reason… some of my  so-called friends had decided to cast me in that role.

As if they’d been able to convince themselves that somehow, I deserved to be lied to. Deserved to be cheated on. Deserved the betrayal that they thought I’d committed.
I guess it’s how they justified their betrayal of me…

… to be continued

~ kei
6 February 2015


Shelter me in love that’s shaped like the bay
Keep my heart safe from the storm and the waves

A Lifetime Ago Lake

A Lifetime Ago Lake ©Karin Bole Tupper




When you say that you haven’t had sex in three years and you’re trying to get into a gal’s pants; it’s important to be specific. If you mean that you haven’t had sex with gnus in three years, or wildebeest or Peruvian wombats; please do make that distinction.
Whatever it is that you HAVEN’T had sex with.


Like your girlfriend – and the other one – your flings round the world, your wife and every other normal average woman; we assume that when you are making that statement to US, that you mean you haven’t had and aren’t continuing to have, sex with another woman!

Crazy right?!

I know MY response would have been significantly different. I would have you double bag that thing. Yup. Cut the fingers off a Playtex glove and get that covered wouldja?

Well I’m off to the clinic.


~ kei
7 December 2014

Stop Thinking With Your Little Head

As always: I am writing from MY experience and it is with men. I am perfectly aware that there are female predators out there. There is zero requirement to point out the obvious to me.
Though I don’t have to defend, I will expand to say: I have many wonderful men in my life including my beautiful son, my Dad, brother, even my former husband.
Predators are NOT the norm or the majority.

Okay Ladies. There’s this thing. It’s better than Hermès on sale or finding Manolo’s at the thrift shop.

It’s called “The Sisterhood”.

Can we all please just get with the program, stop being catty, high school morons for a moment? Seriously, I never much liked my gender but that’s increased a million-fold since I started on WordPress.

There are bad men out there. They look like men, walk like men, may even speak in full sentences, write beautiful poetry or paint pretty pictures but they are not men.
They are predators.

If you’re just on here “For Play”, stop reading now – I don’t care about you. If any of you actually believe that you can have a meaningful relationship or that you know one fucking thing about someone on the internet – you are wrong and you are putting yourself and perhaps those you love at risk,

I’ve had well-meaning people comment off the cuff that you can get a sense of a person from what they share in venues like this. That statement is complete and utter garbage. I am an amazingly warm, loving,intuitive human (I’ll give you references if you need ’em) and I have been royally fooled once and had another person try to pull the same game again.

Here’s my proposal:

I have more experience than I want in this. I have resources. If this message reaches you and you have even the tiniest bit of doubt about the man you are communicating with, please – please – message me for those resources.

I swear, I don’t want anyone else’ man. I don’t stalk. I don’t chase boys. I am not a crazy bitch. I do not bite. Period. Hell! In the 3D world, I’m regarded as rather “a catch”!
But… that’s the primary way that these animals find their way in – divide and conquer.
What I am is someone who was victimized wholly and completely and in this little pressure cooker, I get to watch history repeat itself.

If you hear any of these, they are red flags:

I’m in a loveless relationship
I’m in an open relationship
None of them understand me
You’re the first one to understand me
I’ve never connected so deeply with another
I would marry you if I were single
It’s a business trip
I don’t know why she left me

There is a Sisterhood – it should transcend petty jealousy and contrived competition – we cannot sit around and trash men and their shitty behaviour when we turn around and do the exact same thing. Open your eyes! If a dude is going through women faster than loo tissue – who has the problem? Do any of you honestly believe that there is an endless stream of crazy stalker bitches just waiting to tear apart a man and that you are the only good, decent, understanding woman out there? Get serious. If that were the case, the human race would have imploded long ago. So many women are disgusted by men who “think with their little head”. What do you think you’re doing when you go after some dude without a care or a by your leave to the wife, girlfriend or partner? AS IF!! You just believe what some dude tells you and don’t even ASK her? Nice Human Race. Real integrity there.

Please, ask good questions and for the love of whatever… don’t fall for those same tired lines again. These guys get us because we ignore our own intuition and we piss on the Sisterhood the second a dick walks in the room. Is this what you want to teach your daughters?

I thought not.

I have resources, I have good ears for listening. I have solid facts and information.
You are welcome to use that “Message Me” tab way up at the top there.
Of course you don’t want to know the truth – that buggers up the fantasy doesn’t it?
I’m here to tell you, the fallout is a fucking shit ton worse.

Talk to each other!

~ kei
7 December 2014

I cannot thank deeply enough, the brave women who chose to hit “send”. You’ve validated all my suspicions and my responses. We’re all wiser and safer for that.
The resources I mentioned are all encompassing and if you are a man who has experienced or is in a relationship with someone who lies, cheats, is internet-obsessed, takes no responsibility, is always the victim; you may be involved with a Narcissist (or a shitty human being) these resources welcome and are helpful for men too.