It’s important that you know that your Daddy and I loved each other very much. I ‘m sure you feel that, even though you don’t get to see him very often. The things that happened to separate us just happened. Not everyone has a faerytale in their life. Or a miracle. You look so much like him. How did you so get so much taller than your Mum, eh?
I hope you’re having fun with Grandma, I am getting better. A little stronger everyday and I can’t wait until you’re back home here with me.
I guess I won’t be able to share all of this journal with him… I can’t believe how much I didn’t say in these pages… thank god for my memories… Thank god for my boy child… We made something beautiful Broken Boy Soldier…
I wore the purple dress that I know he likes, the same one that I wore just a few months ago. I put on my jean jacket and mukluks too, he calls me his Kateri Two Worlds. The first time he did, I thought he was teasing me. It’s taken me awhile to get his humour… He kind of reminds me of Judd Nelson sometimes. When he played in that breakfast movie… They’re the same sort of, cute and like, a bad boy with a heart of gold, but E is… God, he’s beautiful. Like Adam Beach or Cody Jones. And tall! He makes me feel like a tiny faery :)))
I went with Jonny and I’m not so sure that was a good idea. I have a feeling that she is friggin’ crazy about Whiskey and I know that there is a Ms. Machine south of the border. Eric said she can drink almost as much of that stuff as W does! God, I’d barf! … Anyway-y-y, I didn’t say anything about it. Jonny doesn’t hassle me about this thing with E, other than that last time. She told me he’s going to break my heart and… I think I know that’s true.
So we got across no problem, now that I’m legal it’s easier. I’m pretty sure my Mum won’t be too impressed that Daddy let me take off for the weekend but then, from the family legends I’ve heard, Daddy and E were a lot alike. Besides, it’s not like they haven’t met him. We’ve been coming here every summer for years now. All he said when we’d finished packing up her car and we were heading out was, “You two behave and look after each other. Call me from the camp office so I know you’re there safe.” He hugged us both real tight, that’s my Dad’s version of “I love you.”
We headed out, with the tunes cranked… I can’t wait to see him again. He makes me feel like I’ve swallowed lightning and that kiss… that kiss, it was a good thing he was holding on so tight, my knees gave… it was like being drunk on the taste of him… and when I pulled his shirt out of his jeans, his skin… warm, so soft, the muscle in his back, hard under my palms, I can still taste him and I don’t care if this is crazy… I can’t write more, it was so beautiful, so perfect… Shit! My Mum is ragging again… I swear she had me just so someone else would do the dishes! Crap
18 December 2013
To Be Continued