You Want To Get Caught

Insomnia, sort of but mostly a manic phase of ADD
My brain is in full on squirrel monkey mode
Two AM thoughts have me up and typing at the Witching Hour
I remember having to explain this term to P, he’d not heard it before
Ironic, as most of my street smarts about the Information Highway were lessons he taught
Funny too that I’m awake due to the asshats driving by… just another spring time, post studies, pre exam, suburban Friday night. I guess it’s something that these are 3D asshats
Roads, highways, crossroads and forks
I’m older than dirt (older than 31/4’s, older than DOS, older than MacIntosh) in Internet years. The short story is, I grew up with it and have never been without a computer. I like to think I’m pretty savvy… I grew up with Northern Telecom HQ in my backyard, I worked for Mitel, Newbridge and iSTAT. I thought I knew some some. That’s always the downfall, right?
We think we know about this because we know that
So, the thing is, I’ve had some horrific experiences on the Internet and if it could happen to me, it could happen to anyone
If you’re putting it on the Internet, you want to get caught or you want someone else to find it. No, not quite the same thing
You think a carbon footprint is hard to minimize? When solid actions hit bandwidth they become dust in the wind and can’t ever be erased or hidden. Ever. Everything leaves a trail
I don’t know why I care about a perfect stranger… I can’t even say what not to do because it sounds preachy and judgemental but I can say why not to
If it’s on the Internet, it can be found. Someone will look for it, or stumble over it, even if it’s been deleted, even if the most elaborate schemes have been concocted to hide it. It might be manufactured – mostly what happened to me – or it might be your own choice but that shit is out there forever. In the context of a loving relationship, I’ve done same… and when the relationship ended… Not the same as those who “just play” or are having an affair but the result was the same

So if you really don’t want your husband / boyfriend / wife / girlfriend to know… don’t post those pictures, videos, whatever. It’s bloody sad that it’s not just teenagers who are the only idiots about this… I mean those “adults” who do this deliberately… yeah, yeah, thrilling and all that shit but what happens when the breakup comes, you forget to log off, she doesn’t like being dumped, he takes an interest in your Pinterest
Or maybe it happens like with me… He forgot that he gave me all his logins, to all his blogs, his Facebook, I ran both our FB pages at different times, had his banking info… on and on… Maybe think about that before you send a message or photo to someone
Gah!! My retinas!!
Funny how our choices and actions can be in direct opposite to what we say we want
You said you don’t want him to know, that you love him – your words. Then stop posting the pictures, the videos and all the other shit you’re doing. Your actions say you want to get caught. The result will be you’ll lose him. Have the balls to end it and let him keep his dignity or stop doing what you’re doing. I do care and am worried for you
It’s that simple
Not preachin’, just sleepless as the anniversary and the other anniversary are just hours away now and all that dust in the wind that he, me and the others kicked up, swirls all around my thoughts… and can still be found in virtual corners

~ kei
23 May 2015

Karma Is Not A Bitch

I always rather liked Karma. We’ve disagreed – my fault – a time or two but mostly, she’s done me square.

What I like about Karma, is that she’s all about balance and she totally let’s you take the wheel.

Unlike Revenge which can be driven by mindless rage, however well justified that may be.

Not like Justice either. Justice looks after the blacks and whites. She misses a lot of the grey area where our selfish justifications live.

Karma’s simply about bringing the universe back into alignment. The keeper of Newton’s Third Law.

Sometimes, Karma has a warped sense of humour. She sure has got me a few times!

Finding a mouldy blob in the fridge instead of the piece of chocolate cake you hid from your brother is Karma.

Karma gets a bad rap but that’s because she hangs out with humankind so much.

Her favourite messengers aren’t typically the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

No. Usually, it’s just another human. Delivering the lesson, be it good or bad.

That’s not to say that her invisible kick in the seat of your ethics isn’t gonna hurt like a bastard.

Or that onlookers might not be glad that it does. Let’s face it: Karma can borrow Justice’s clothes

Man! She has a resting bitch face that looks a hell of a lot like Revenge too.

Karma doesn’t pick the sides though. She’s the ripples in this ocean caused when YOU drop the stone.

It’s all about balance.

You have an affair with someone else’ partner on-line. Justice is like, “What? I didn’t see that”. Revenge is all, “Let me at that skank bitch”. Karma doesn’t judge. She doesn’t give a shit.

It’s just balance. Time, tide and flow.

Eventually, the ripples are going to reach the opposite side of Life’s shore.

Maybe to the woman who has the passwords to his computer.

With that: the cycle and lessons of Karma for each of us as individuals begins.

Again.

~ kei

5 October 2014

Keanu on Karma