What I Said

This man has elected to be verbally abusive with me because I disagree with his opinion.

Not only can he not just stand down and respect the fact that this is my blog, my opinion and my choice; he feels the need to make things personal.

I suggest that regardless of your view of the USA elections, you may wish to unfollow a person who feels justified in abusing someone who doesn’t allow their own blog to be used as a political grand stand.

screen-shot-2016-11-09-at-9-56-24-am

Oh! And ETA: Still won’t back off with the name calling. There are children with better manners and self-control.

screen-shot-2-2016-11-09-at-10-00-55-am

First words to me, a complete stranger:

“Then she’s an arrogant ignorant as well.”

Nope. Nothing inflammatory there. <heavy irony>

Aside

So-o-o…

Spammers have reached a whole new low. One would have thought that lower than a snake’s balls in a wagon rut would be the lowest but no.
This AM, I received an email from a friend who died from brain cancer two years ago.
Fuck you Hackers and may the fleas of a 1000 gorillas infest your hairy bits.

While I’m on that…

Ladies, you aren’t going to get anywhere with me if your email subject line begins with “Desperate For..”, “Hungry For…” or “I’ll Keep U Up All Night”.
I really like a woman who can spell if we’re going to get up to some Pat-A-Cake and if you’re desperate… there are apps for that.

Just sayin’…

~ kei
5 September 2016

My Big Fat Reblog

Well, share actually. To keep my post size manageable here and in the feed, I’ve linked rather than reblog.

Kendall F. Person of The Neighbourhood on WP, just wrapped up a three-part series on gossip. It was done in a story format and is incredibly powerful, delving into the motivations of the person who initiates the gossip and blowing up the general attitude that repeating misinformation is harmless.

Y’all have probably seen my shorts, poems and rants about gossip. It’s hard to be completely objective when one has been and continues to be, targeted by a gossip. Kendall’s pieces bring home the point so much better. I hope you’ll take the time to read each of his and perhaps mine too. It is subjective but factual. Gossip hurts.

I’m listing them in link format below and the last link is to an old piece of mine that retells and old Jewish parable about the consequence and effect of malicious words and as I like to refer to gossip, ‘sanctioned slander’.

Comments are welcome on this piece in particular and note that it falls under my writing about Narcissism. Gossip is one of the power tools in the Narc’s tool kit and they use it and their cronies to start it and spread it.

Ask good questions. Start with ‘why is this person telling this?’

~ kei
3 December 2015

~~~~~

Gossip Part One

Gossip Part Two

Gossip Part Three

Words, Feathers, Rabbis and Letters

View From The High Road

Walk a mile in my moccasins

Before you choose

To abuse

You didn’t climb my mountains

You didn’t ford my white water

There are days that I can barely breathe

When victory is getting off my knees

If you think you’ve a right to judge me

Remaining too indifferent to compare

I hope you aren’t teaching young minds

Your lazy notion of fair

Walk a mile in my moccasins

Before you choose

To abuse

~ kei
10 July 2015

Aside

So-o-o…

If we’ve been blog friends, follow each other, like, comment, maybe even kibitz once in a while and then one day…

Poof!!

You start behaving like I’m the virtual version of the Black Plaque, I may just notice.

And…

If I see that this has happened to me before and that the common denominator each time a connection mysteriously implodes is a unibrowed, tub ‘o adulterous slut…

Well…

I guess I’m better off without anymore “sheeple” in my realm of existence.

Just thinking this afternoon…

~ kei
9 June 2015

Aside

The only thing that could spoil a day was people. People were always the limiters of happiness, except for the very few that were as good as spring itself.

~ Ernest Hemingway

People always have an expected gain when they volunteer information.

Frankly, I am inclined to be suspicious about the motives and integrity of someone who tells me something negative about another person without facts or evidence. Certainly, It begs the question: why is the teller so threatened by the person they are maligning?

As writers, we know the importance of research, checking details and sources and if it matters to me at all, I’ll be check the facts rather than to act – in any way – that gives credence to what is only gossip unless and until all sides are out in the open and not whispered “behind the walls”.

… just thinking this AM

~ kei
30 May 2015

You Want To Get Caught

Insomnia, sort of but mostly a manic phase of ADD
My brain is in full on squirrel monkey mode
Two AM thoughts have me up and typing at the Witching Hour
I remember having to explain this term to P, he’d not heard it before
Ironic, as most of my street smarts about the Information Highway were lessons he taught
Funny too that I’m awake due to the asshats driving by… just another spring time, post studies, pre exam, suburban Friday night. I guess it’s something that these are 3D asshats
Roads, highways, crossroads and forks
I’m older than dirt (older than 31/4’s, older than DOS, older than MacIntosh) in Internet years. The short story is, I grew up with it and have never been without a computer. I like to think I’m pretty savvy… I grew up with Northern Telecom HQ in my backyard, I worked for Mitel, Newbridge and iSTAT. I thought I knew some some. That’s always the downfall, right?
We think we know about this because we know that
So, the thing is, I’ve had some horrific experiences on the Internet and if it could happen to me, it could happen to anyone
If you’re putting it on the Internet, you want to get caught or you want someone else to find it. No, not quite the same thing
You think a carbon footprint is hard to minimize? When solid actions hit bandwidth they become dust in the wind and can’t ever be erased or hidden. Ever. Everything leaves a trail
I don’t know why I care about a perfect stranger… I can’t even say what not to do because it sounds preachy and judgemental but I can say why not to
If it’s on the Internet, it can be found. Someone will look for it, or stumble over it, even if it’s been deleted, even if the most elaborate schemes have been concocted to hide it. It might be manufactured – mostly what happened to me – or it might be your own choice but that shit is out there forever. In the context of a loving relationship, I’ve done same… and when the relationship ended… Not the same as those who “just play” or are having an affair but the result was the same

So if you really don’t want your husband / boyfriend / wife / girlfriend to know… don’t post those pictures, videos, whatever. It’s bloody sad that it’s not just teenagers who are the only idiots about this… I mean those “adults” who do this deliberately… yeah, yeah, thrilling and all that shit but what happens when the breakup comes, you forget to log off, she doesn’t like being dumped, he takes an interest in your Pinterest
Or maybe it happens like with me… He forgot that he gave me all his logins, to all his blogs, his Facebook, I ran both our FB pages at different times, had his banking info… on and on… Maybe think about that before you send a message or photo to someone
Gah!! My retinas!!
Funny how our choices and actions can be in direct opposite to what we say we want
You said you don’t want him to know, that you love him – your words. Then stop posting the pictures, the videos and all the other shit you’re doing. Your actions say you want to get caught. The result will be you’ll lose him. Have the balls to end it and let him keep his dignity or stop doing what you’re doing. I do care and am worried for you
It’s that simple
Not preachin’, just sleepless as the anniversary and the other anniversary are just hours away now and all that dust in the wind that he, me and the others kicked up, swirls all around my thoughts… and can still be found in virtual corners

~ kei
23 May 2015

Aside

Blaarrgghh…

It’s beyond me how some people, even supposedly educated people, can be so utterly inept at or worse, think they are above the social courtesies.

There is no need for your ego or arrogance to circle the wagons of silence.

It’s a “hello, how are you?”, not a bloody marriage proposal.

~ kei
8 May 2015

THE VULGAR CONCEPT OF SELF

THE VULGAR CONCEPT OF SELF

There are some absolutely brilliant concepts presented here. The post is via HastyWords and written by Anthony Amore of The Plagued Parent.
My own struggles with the Internet are very similar and this struck a deep chord. It is not only children who abuse their perceived impunity on bandwidth.

HASTYWORDS

Society as a whole has a lot to learn about internet privacy and etiquette. Adults are constantly having to educate themselves in order to teach kids how to be safe and smart. We never really think we need to worry about what they are saying about us.

I was afraid to share this story since it is highly personal. I have been assured -and you can see for yourself by visiting their blog- that this is already a very public case.

How we behave online has long-living and far-reaching consequences.  Once it is typed and posted it is like Frankenstein, alive and uncontrollable.  Thank you Anthony and Christina for telling this story and for reminding us to take social media seriously with our kids.  Please check out their blog at The Plagued Parent.

477px-Frankenstein's_monster_(Boris_Karloff)The Vulgar Concept of Self by A.R. Amore

The lawyer said a single deposition would cost…

View original post 1,908 more words

Forgive, Forget. Let’s Talk Respect

I’ve been thinking about forgiveness quite a bit the last week.

So much so that I started a post that soon became an essay with a side of rant.
I’m not ranting though. Not even mad; not really.

There’s been a meme going round about a teacher who brilliantly provides her students with a lesson on forgiveness. Unless you live under a rock, you’ve likely read it.

The Crumpled Paper lesson on bullying and sorry.

We teach our children these things. We “like” and “share” those memes but so many adults do not walk the walk. It’s like there’s been a collective regression in society. I know my opinion is nothing new, it just has touched my life significantly in the last two years.

The last couple days, I’ve come to think that forgiveness and respect have a lot in common. They aren’t just automatically given. Like that crumpled sheet of paper, a terse “sorry” doesn’t fix things and certainly doesn’t entitle you to forgiveness. I think the belief that it should be is part of the culture of instant gratification that we’ve created.

Ten Things Forgiveness is Not Reconciliation by Gail Meyers The Scapegoats of a Narcissistic Mother 9

There’s a lot of memes state forgiving makes you the bigger person and it lifts a burden from your shoulders. I’m sure that’s true. I’ve embraced that. There are some situations and circumstances though, where I’ve seen a person who is legitimately wronged being shamed for not instantly forgiving on that grudging, lame-ass “Sorry”. That isn’t reasonable.

In this Internet age we have the ability to hurt far and beyond what we may intend; may in fact, come to regret. As adults, we have a responsibility to curb our tempers, particularly in the public realm. It’s easy to make use of that publish button, that tweet or email. It’s hard to accept that if you deliberately use these weapons to harm someone, they will hit the mark and your acquired target will not be able to defend themselves. It’s highly unlikely that a “sorry” – even if you do mean it – will put things back to rights.That momentary feeling of power – shaming the person you’re angry with, the ego-boosting pets and coos of people who only hear your side, their inevitable jumping to conclusions and their subsequent shaming or punishment of your target – will pass. You’ll want things back the way they were. The worst part of this is how people vent like overgrown two-year olds because they didn’t get their way, or deliberately ignored what the other person was saying and then expect their vengeful behavior to be simply forgiven and forgotten. No one should be made to feel bad because they don’t wish to forgive someone who offers no more than that insincere schoolyard “sorry” or the “well you made me do it”. Or worse, behind the scenes make up attempts, while taking no responsibility for the fallout of making a private “owie” a public stoning.

What may fix things is atonement. Atonement and making restitution. These things prove your sincerity and like respect, may earn you forgiveness. They may not put things back as they were but that isn’t really what they are intended for. They are to right a wrong that you’ve done.

Regardless if you felt justified – as adults, we should understand that personal relationships do not warrant a public airing – because as my other favourite parable about the woman, the rabbi and the feather pillow – we can’t possibly take back every word we spoke on a blog, a private email or anywhere else. That damage is done. It’s all too easy to try to win our point in public only to regret deeply in private. As a compassionate person, I can appreciate someone regretting their actions toward me – I certainly have done when I’ve lost my temper – but if that person had the balls to call me out in public and do my reputation, integrity and professional life significant harm, they should have the balls to atone with a public statement to own their bad temper.

What I carry isn’t a burden but the lesson that no one can be trusted to act with honour or integrity and that our society has become nothing more than a schoolyard full of bullies just waiting to feel entitled.

Unless and until atonement happens, I don’t forgive and I don’t forget.
It’s not my job to make nice so that you feel better.

Don’t treat your relationship like a sideshow because sometimes…
We have to live with the consequences of our actions.

Drake lyrics

Drake lyrics

~ kei
1 November 2014