View From The High Road

Walk a mile in my moccasins

Before you choose

To abuse

You didn’t climb my mountains

You didn’t ford my white water

There are days that I can barely breathe

When victory is getting off my knees

If you think you’ve a right to judge me

Remaining too indifferent to compare

I hope you aren’t teaching young minds

Your lazy notion of fair

Walk a mile in my moccasins

Before you choose

To abuse

~ kei
10 July 2015

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Aside

I’ll preface this by saying, there is precious little that I haven’t done or tried in my life.

One thing that I have not done is engage in the kind of rampant douchebaggery that I’m seeing everywhere online lately.

Seriously? Par example:

On your Gravatar, you are a married with two children, a less than interested husband and you’re exploring the D/s world with your Master???

For the love of Christ!

Who advertises their adultery to the entire world? I’m sure your children will be thrilled to see this in cache view in the antiquities section of the Internet of the future. How much attention do you think those children are getting?  What about the multiple personality wife and mother of many boys? Such devotion! To my man and how many others since?

And please… don’t hand me the line that all these twats use to justify their behaviour: “We’re consenting adults”.

Are you? Are you really now?

I’m pretty sure you’re the same person who sat home eating 4 pints of gourmet ice cream /  getting shit-faced on your Dad’s beer, when you found out the captain of the soccer team / cute cashier at McGeneric’s dumped your arse after making out with someone else. Now look at you! Out there doing the same on a much larger scale not caring who gets hurt. Didn’t you learn anything?

If either of you two consenting adults are married, engaged, living together or otherwise hooked up with another human; there is at least one adult who is NOT consenting. More likely it’s two who are not consenting, judging by the new face of WordPress…

Why don’t we ask the other adults involved if they’d like to give their consent? Maybe send them an anonymous toy chest or tool kit, whatever the hell it is. Or how about this? Have the balls to break up with your partner instead of publicly shaming them for all eternity.

I’m wagering we’d see Mount Consent explode like Mount St. Helen’s…

I weep for the future of Humanity.

Just thinking this afternoon…

Aside

The only thing that could spoil a day was people. People were always the limiters of happiness, except for the very few that were as good as spring itself.

~ Ernest Hemingway

People always have an expected gain when they volunteer information.

Frankly, I am inclined to be suspicious about the motives and integrity of someone who tells me something negative about another person without facts or evidence. Certainly, It begs the question: why is the teller so threatened by the person they are maligning?

As writers, we know the importance of research, checking details and sources and if it matters to me at all, I’ll be check the facts rather than to act – in any way – that gives credence to what is only gossip unless and until all sides are out in the open and not whispered “behind the walls”.

… just thinking this AM

~ kei
30 May 2015

THE VULGAR CONCEPT OF SELF

THE VULGAR CONCEPT OF SELF

There are some absolutely brilliant concepts presented here. The post is via HastyWords and written by Anthony Amore of The Plagued Parent.
My own struggles with the Internet are very similar and this struck a deep chord. It is not only children who abuse their perceived impunity on bandwidth.

HASTYWORDS

Society as a whole has a lot to learn about internet privacy and etiquette. Adults are constantly having to educate themselves in order to teach kids how to be safe and smart. We never really think we need to worry about what they are saying about us.

I was afraid to share this story since it is highly personal. I have been assured -and you can see for yourself by visiting their blog- that this is already a very public case.

How we behave online has long-living and far-reaching consequences.  Once it is typed and posted it is like Frankenstein, alive and uncontrollable.  Thank you Anthony and Christina for telling this story and for reminding us to take social media seriously with our kids.  Please check out their blog at The Plagued Parent.

477px-Frankenstein's_monster_(Boris_Karloff)The Vulgar Concept of Self by A.R. Amore

The lawyer said a single deposition would cost…

View original post 1,908 more words

Forgive, Forget. Let’s Talk Respect

I’ve been thinking about forgiveness quite a bit the last week.

So much so that I started a post that soon became an essay with a side of rant.
I’m not ranting though. Not even mad; not really.

There’s been a meme going round about a teacher who brilliantly provides her students with a lesson on forgiveness. Unless you live under a rock, you’ve likely read it.

The Crumpled Paper lesson on bullying and sorry.

We teach our children these things. We “like” and “share” those memes but so many adults do not walk the walk. It’s like there’s been a collective regression in society. I know my opinion is nothing new, it just has touched my life significantly in the last two years.

The last couple days, I’ve come to think that forgiveness and respect have a lot in common. They aren’t just automatically given. Like that crumpled sheet of paper, a terse “sorry” doesn’t fix things and certainly doesn’t entitle you to forgiveness. I think the belief that it should be is part of the culture of instant gratification that we’ve created.

Ten Things Forgiveness is Not Reconciliation by Gail Meyers The Scapegoats of a Narcissistic Mother 9

There’s a lot of memes state forgiving makes you the bigger person and it lifts a burden from your shoulders. I’m sure that’s true. I’ve embraced that. There are some situations and circumstances though, where I’ve seen a person who is legitimately wronged being shamed for not instantly forgiving on that grudging, lame-ass “Sorry”. That isn’t reasonable.

In this Internet age we have the ability to hurt far and beyond what we may intend; may in fact, come to regret. As adults, we have a responsibility to curb our tempers, particularly in the public realm. It’s easy to make use of that publish button, that tweet or email. It’s hard to accept that if you deliberately use these weapons to harm someone, they will hit the mark and your acquired target will not be able to defend themselves. It’s highly unlikely that a “sorry” – even if you do mean it – will put things back to rights.That momentary feeling of power – shaming the person you’re angry with, the ego-boosting pets and coos of people who only hear your side, their inevitable jumping to conclusions and their subsequent shaming or punishment of your target – will pass. You’ll want things back the way they were. The worst part of this is how people vent like overgrown two-year olds because they didn’t get their way, or deliberately ignored what the other person was saying and then expect their vengeful behavior to be simply forgiven and forgotten. No one should be made to feel bad because they don’t wish to forgive someone who offers no more than that insincere schoolyard “sorry” or the “well you made me do it”. Or worse, behind the scenes make up attempts, while taking no responsibility for the fallout of making a private “owie” a public stoning.

What may fix things is atonement. Atonement and making restitution. These things prove your sincerity and like respect, may earn you forgiveness. They may not put things back as they were but that isn’t really what they are intended for. They are to right a wrong that you’ve done.

Regardless if you felt justified – as adults, we should understand that personal relationships do not warrant a public airing – because as my other favourite parable about the woman, the rabbi and the feather pillow – we can’t possibly take back every word we spoke on a blog, a private email or anywhere else. That damage is done. It’s all too easy to try to win our point in public only to regret deeply in private. As a compassionate person, I can appreciate someone regretting their actions toward me – I certainly have done when I’ve lost my temper – but if that person had the balls to call me out in public and do my reputation, integrity and professional life significant harm, they should have the balls to atone with a public statement to own their bad temper.

What I carry isn’t a burden but the lesson that no one can be trusted to act with honour or integrity and that our society has become nothing more than a schoolyard full of bullies just waiting to feel entitled.

Unless and until atonement happens, I don’t forgive and I don’t forget.
It’s not my job to make nice so that you feel better.

Don’t treat your relationship like a sideshow because sometimes…
We have to live with the consequences of our actions.

Drake lyrics

Drake lyrics

~ kei
1 November 2014

This Is The Bar

Dudes are making me think again… way more than I should…

This is the man who I measure boys by
Call me a Daddy’s Girl, I can take it

Kicked out of high school for defending a chum
Signed up for the Air Force, a family tradition

Moved far from home, met and married my Mum
Left The Forces, got a job, became a Dad at twenty-three

Worked like a Trojan. A full time job and part time too
Saved up, bought a home, added three more kids

Completed his last two credits, went to University
Kept all his cars on the road himself, played guitar

Took us camping, taught me how to make fire with two sticks
Loved his maritime home, proud of his family tree

Wound up with a “harem” before the son showed up
Scared hell out of all our boyfriends but liked them too

Six feet tall and smokes rolled into his sleeve
Man enough to do Midol runs for his three girls

All round good guy. Loved by friends and family
This is the measure of a man to me

~ kei
17 October 2014

Dad at 17

My Dad, Scot’s Bay, NS

Karma Is Not A Bitch

I always rather liked Karma. We’ve disagreed – my fault – a time or two but mostly, she’s done me square.

What I like about Karma, is that she’s all about balance and she totally let’s you take the wheel.

Unlike Revenge which can be driven by mindless rage, however well justified that may be.

Not like Justice either. Justice looks after the blacks and whites. She misses a lot of the grey area where our selfish justifications live.

Karma’s simply about bringing the universe back into alignment. The keeper of Newton’s Third Law.

Sometimes, Karma has a warped sense of humour. She sure has got me a few times!

Finding a mouldy blob in the fridge instead of the piece of chocolate cake you hid from your brother is Karma.

Karma gets a bad rap but that’s because she hangs out with humankind so much.

Her favourite messengers aren’t typically the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

No. Usually, it’s just another human. Delivering the lesson, be it good or bad.

That’s not to say that her invisible kick in the seat of your ethics isn’t gonna hurt like a bastard.

Or that onlookers might not be glad that it does. Let’s face it: Karma can borrow Justice’s clothes

Man! She has a resting bitch face that looks a hell of a lot like Revenge too.

Karma doesn’t pick the sides though. She’s the ripples in this ocean caused when YOU drop the stone.

It’s all about balance.

You have an affair with someone else’ partner on-line. Justice is like, “What? I didn’t see that”. Revenge is all, “Let me at that skank bitch”. Karma doesn’t judge. She doesn’t give a shit.

It’s just balance. Time, tide and flow.

Eventually, the ripples are going to reach the opposite side of Life’s shore.

Maybe to the woman who has the passwords to his computer.

With that: the cycle and lessons of Karma for each of us as individuals begins.

Again.

~ kei

5 October 2014

Keanu on Karma