Aside

It’s not you, it’s me… Again. Again, I’m so far behind that I think I’m first, and the only remedy that works for me is ‘delete all’ from the Inbox. I’m sorry to be missing your posts but I just can’t keep up anymore.

It’s spring, I’m a little manic panic and downsizing again for sanity and ADD/OCD’s sake. Some of you will notice that I’m no longer on Twitter or Google+ and I feel better already. Streamlining my social media to manageable and rewarding has been on my ‘to do’ list for a while – it’s simply too frantic-making for an Introvert like me, not to mention a chore with little return.

I’ll be around here, just letting you know about the other two sites. Have a wonderful week!

~ kei
20 March 2016

Pain For Gain

Trying to write the piece I mentioned last week is harder than I thought.

There have been many days, weeks, months that I never think of Peter or what those two and some years with him were. Unfortunately, writing something hopeful and perhaps even inspiring for people involved with Narcissists or just beginning the process of leaving means that I have to go back and visit that time.

Those panicky, terrified feelings creep back as I remember and there was so much… the mind boggles at the hugeness of the deception. I still can’t fathom it – the why of it.

It didn’t die with him either. I can only hope that those who read the book when it’s out, will find some comfort in knowing they aren’t alone. That’s the worst of it. Feeling alone, barely understanding what’s happened and being judged by others who know nothing about narcissists, sociopaths or pathological liars.

I hope this disruption in my well-being will be worthwhile. That what I have achieved helps someone to break free and move on. Knowing it won’t be easy, knowing there’ll be extremely difficult times but being assured that it’s worth it.

One’s self-esteem, value as a human being and right to live free of this abuse is worth every bit of the struggle.

~ kei
26 November 2015

Petites Pensées ~ The 180

Rebuilding…

Is like moving mountains
Creating life, love, sanity, shelter anew
The hardest part for me

Is watching friends I’ve known my entire life
My haven, joy, support and champions
Those who were the foundation of my life

Walk away from me without a backward glance
As if I were no more important to them
Than a gas station clerk on the highway of their life

~ kei
18 August 2015

Present Echoes

Up with the birds again
Coffee in hand
Garden flowers filling my view
Still wrapped in bemusement
And dreams of you

My former boyfriend
Morphed by time
Into a friend indeed
Though by circumstance
Never a friend in need

From the fire of our teens
To a soul mate
A flame ever renewable
We forged a bond
Apart but inseparable

Sometimes I’m left lonely
By staying in touch
Words aloud and words unsaid
But you bring me to life
When I feel half dead

The world calls me back
From ancient reveries
Life’s too short for regrets
And I am so glad Dear One
That we choose not to forget

~ kei
16 July 2015