Funny

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St. Hallmark Day Annual Post 2017

Once again, St. Hallmark Day is almost upon us. This means it is time to assault your eyes with my traditional St. Hallmark post. The tradition began on Facebook – that keeper of all events and occasions – several years ago and continues to amuse me. So…

Y’all are my Valentine Victims! Mwa-hahahahaha!! Welcome to the Massacre!

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The 2017 edition of my annual mock-a-thon must include a nod to my Valentine.

Sweet Valentine person of mine

You jostle my molecules

and

Cause a kerfuffle in my bustle

Yay!

❤

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Mood music:

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#BeFake ~ Silly Sundays

So… Disclaimer. My profile picture isn’t real.

Okay, well… actually it IS real just not the real ME. It will be something very like the real me in fairly short order and is a direct result of my overflowing enthusiasm for my new / old ‘look’ to evolve or perhaps ‘resurrect’ is more accurate. Certainly, it hits the high points of colour, style, fashion aesthetic and all that good stuff. My own hair is transitioning from deep purple to its pale wisteria roots (no pun – okay – yes pun) and I can’t wait!

To justify reneging on my (self-imposed, I bet you didn’t know anyway) steadfast insistence about posting real photographs of my authentic mug, I am creating a #BeFake campaign because #beincognitotemporarily campaign took too long to type! Feel free to join in 🙂

I have no idea why I felt that an explanation was in order but with the amount of ‘judgey judgey’, snarkfest, in-your-face, opinionated foofaraw that happens on Social Media, I deemed it best to preempt it by proudly stepping up and proclaiming: My Gravatar is not real!

It is however, close enough for Rock ‘N Roll.

Well… with a stylist… maybe a professional makeup artist… do you know how frakkin’ hard it is to get these eyeliner wings right??!

~ kei
23 January 2016

Strands under construction

Strands under construction

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A Christmas Story

… of a different stripe

White Tiger, Snow, Humour, Big Cats, A Christmas Story

“NOW it was serious. A double-dog-dare. What else was there but a ‘triple dare you’? And then, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple-dog-dare.”

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A quote from my second favourite Christmas movie – Nightmare Before Christmas – being the first. In the interest of full disclosure, I stuck my tongue to the bumper of my Dad’s car one year. 1972 Impala… delicious!

~ kei
20 December 2015

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For the uninitiated:

From the movie 'A Christmas Story'.

From the movie ‘A Christmas Story’.

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Ode To Manscaping

 or… That 70’s Brand Name Poem

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Disco Dan, the dancing man
Pearl Drops teeth and a QT tan
Seen him once or twice before
In his polyester suit at Studio 54
Better stand back Ladies!
Cause he’ll drive you crazy
He’s a lady-killer, best believer
He’ll give you Saturday night fever
He asked me to do the hustle
Oh Baby! Set fire to my bustle
Look out Girls, this one’s mine
Disco Dan, so mighty fine
He left with me, I won that prize
But later that evening to my surprise
Thought I’d found the perfect love slave
But he hadn’t heard of Phillishave
So I had to set the poor boy wise cause…
His unruly crotchstache burned my eyes
©KbT, September 2011
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St. Hallmark Day Annual Post

Once again, St. Hallmark Day is almost upon us. This means it is time to assault your eyes with my traditional St. Hallmark post. The tradition began on Facebook – that keeper of all events and occasions – several years ago and continues to amuse me. So…

Y’all are my Valentine Victims! Mwa-hahahahaha!! Welcome to the Massacre!

~~~~~

I’ve thought this is a rather crass, tawdry, contrived and generally tasteless occasion from the time I was in my teens and even during the years that I had the best Valentine on the planet. For you that like it, do carry on. For those that don’t, sing along with me or mock. Mocking is a highly underrated skill and therapeutic tool ;-).

~~~~~

Epistle of Undying Affection:

Oh! My baby makes me feel so fine
My crabby but sweet little porcupine
Lovin’ her, it hurts so good
Just like my Mama said it would
Her quills are tipped with Love Potion #9
My prickly and funny valentine
You know I ain’t never gonna leave her
Cause she’s my red and white hot-blooded
All tattooed and studded
Best Canadian Beaver!

~ kei

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Mood music:

Whatever happened to the beautiful boys of my flaming youth?

Shush now! It was a rhetorical question. 😉

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Aside

When out of words… post stream of thought!

So… I get a very high percentage of hits coming from Brazil. Here on Eclectic but on my other two WP blogs as well.

I find this really interesting as the only other languages that I use are French, Mik’maq and sometimes my very rusty Spanish.

It does beg the question, what is the draw?

Idle curiosity…

I’ve not even posted about my Brazilian… not on the knitting blog for sure!!

~ kei

16 September 2014

Take a smile