Exposed

Here I am heart in hand
Sharp pain streaked memories rush in
An imminent squall warning
The red flags waving on a stormy beach
All the fear rises like a tide
Enveloping
My heart in a surge of protection
Shielding and yet yielding
A mist so airy
You could reach right through it
Dispersing
If only you were here

~ kei
14 March 2016

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Lyrical

The Tea Party. This is their cover version of “The Messenger”. The song was written by Daniel Lanois, one of Canada’s and the world’s best known musicians and producers and a phenomenal lyricist. This is the acoustic version and a prelude to their Reformation tour. The powerhouse original version is here. The band  decided to name their new group “The Tea Party” after the infamous hash sessions of  Beat generation poets Allen Ginsberg, Jack Kerouac and William Burroughs. A great band in their own right with the combination of complex melodies and and intense lyrics.

Music and words… A perfect pairing.

Insomnia

I suffer from insomnia
But it’s really more like
A renegade variant
Of Epstein Barre Virus
Took up squatter’s rights
In my spinal fluid and liked it
But it needed more space and so
It took a sublet in the grey matter
That used to house my serotonin factory
Sometimes my brain rests
In LSD-like visions…

Until insomnia strikes
Not so much insomnia though
As it’s a mumbling male voice
And a rattling the knob of my front door
Causing synapses to warp from fidgety
To holy fuck!
And I leap out of bed like a cat
Well, maybe not exactly like a cat
But I’m wearing a Hello Kitty tee-shirt
My heart is going 90mph
It’s not even a weekend for christ’s sake…

As I move stealthily toward the door
But in reality, moving like a frightened mouse
I want more than anything to be wearing
My cloak of invincibility
Which was really just an old shirt of my Daddy’s
I used to wear those when I was unbreakable
That time when some strange guy came knocking
And It was just my sisters and me
‘Cause my Brother was still just a twinkle in my Mumma’s Eye
And I grabbed my Dad’s 303 because I knew
That I could handle anything back then
I had my Superman shirt on, you see?

I’m pretty sure that this Hello Kitty shirt
Doesn’t have that kind of magic in its fibres
And all I want right now is my Daddy
Or some kind of magic, any kind at all
Because I’m very alone and very scared
And my brain won’t stop replaying that night
When I was ten and brave and strong
And nobody was gonna hurt my sisters
And it seems like just the most stupid thought
When some drunk or stoned arsehole is in the hall…

The mumbling moved away after a minute
A minute that felt like three months
I listened with my ear to the door for more
More drunken wanderers or the mumbling
of the first wave of the zombie apocalypse
Because once you set my brain on a track
It’s gonna take it ALL the way to Where The Hell
That’s the fun part of the renegade virus…

So, I’m laying here trying to get back to… not awake
But I’m really sitting cause it’s easier to write
It’s been two hours now
And I’m not sure if I want to know what LSD visions
Ole EBV will make of tonight’s festivities
So I’ll stay awake here with my friend insomnia
He’s always here for me, knows all my crazy
Never laughs when I wear my Dad’s old shirt to bed
Or make my pillows into the shape of someone
Someone to watch over me
Someone who won’t let me be here
Alone
With all these
Thoughts

kei
September 2013

Invisible

I’m not sure if its possible to be so lonely and still be here

Feeling like a ghost in my own life

Forgotten like a pair of rose tinted shades

Left on the bus

Oh! I liked those, too bad they’re gone

Its so hot

So muggy

Only the sweat that clings to my body

Reminds me that I’m actually here

And if the thunderstorm broke

And if I went out to dance in the rain

Would it even fall on me

Am I transparent even to the wind

Could I remember the steps

Would I even have the courage to leave this room

kei

7 July 2013