I Shouldn’t Give A Shit

… but I do

Maybe because I’m a First born, we are known for our innate need for Justice, for fairness, for “Even Stephens”. Or maybe it’s because I’m a Dual Capricorn. It could be my Legal background or because I’m a Mum. At any rate, recovery from an abusive situation hasn’t lessened my ability to read the signs.

I’ll call it for being descended from Cerridwen and Tailesin, for being a daughter of Glooscap. Certainly, it doesn’t take degrees or Mensa to read a shift in the wind or more aptly, a Klimt on acid-like arrangement of binary code.

Are you with me?

Hell. Even I have trouble keeping up to my ADD / OCD thoughts once they’ve been stirred in that old and horrifyingly familiar way. He used to have me up at all hours of the night – his favourite torture – doing Internet recon missions for his real paranoia and his self-constructed “evidence”.

I feel like that right now.

Watching the same old patterns. The same old everything, regardless to who I am or what I do. The patterns repeat because people don’t change, especially those with something to hide or something to lose.

Slander is a prosecutable offence.

Sometimes I wish I was an American with that penchant for suing. It’s not like I don’t have enough evidence. I simply don’t have the cycles to sue people who are pathetic. They have to live in their skin. That’s punishment enough.

I content myself with the knowledge that Police files and my friends and family, those who were there, who saw, heard, interfaced with… and eventually saved my life; know the truth. It does hurt at times though, especially when another cycle of this all-too-visible bullying begins.

I will never understand how people can spend hours, days, weeks – talking to people, talking to experts, reading – about how to buy a fucking cellphone but when it comes to something as important as the character and reputation of another human being…

All it takes is one slanderous voice – one sad, pathetic voice – whispering complete and utter lies and you won’t raise one fucking question (start with “Who the hell would do that??!”) or one fucking finger to check the source.

Still with me? Probably not. Whatever. Half this shit never gets read anyway.

I’m sick of slander, I’m sick of lies. I’m sick of two-faced friends, I’m sick of it all. Like I said, you don’t need to be a psychic to read patterns of behaviour. So if all it takes for you to walk away from me, is the equivalent of one GT Boutique flyer’s worth of info to my Library of Alexandria’s worth… than by all means, please fuck the hell off and go hang out with the other God-spouting, deluded, morons.

I’m done.

~ kei
16 September 2015

I’m A Mocker

Daily Prompt: New Sensation

From “A Hard Day’s Night” with The Beatles, 1964
Reporter: Are you a mod or a rocker? Ringo: Um, no. I’m a mocker.

I’m all over that! Jump on that bandwagon! Gotta get me some of that! I LOVE your hair, where do you go?
Fads, trends, we all subscribe or fall victim, as the case may be, to some form of them at some point in our life.
Fashion fads are easy for people around us to attack, they’re right there for anyone to see and judge. Does anyone else feel the irony of the blatant disregard for the golden rule of “Don’t judge a book by its cover”? We all of us do just that every day though, don’t we? I’m often tempted, when a stranger offers their opinion on my appearance to ask, “Are you this rude and judgemental with every stranger you meet or am I a special case?”
Trends serve a useful purpose. Yes. Yes, they do. In our teen years, in particular, when we are striving to find a place for ourselves outside the safe boundaries of family and close community. Being part of an identifiable group – usually identifiable by the clothes they wear – is a safe way to push those boundaries a little, while still feeling as part of a whole.
I’ve always believed that it’s important to respect the choices about appearance that others make. We don’t judge a person’s intellect, ambition or dependability based upon their choice of vehicle. Why do that based upon their outward appearance? This is not to say that certain professions and industries should not be allowed to establish their own dress codes. I don’t expect the world to bend for me. I do expect to not be marginalized or disrespected because I wear my hair differently than the majority.
The world can’t spend so much time nurturing and developing individuality in its children, only to quash it at the moment that our kid comes home with a blue Mohawk. Talk about a mixed message! See reference to “the golden rule” above. What is the worst that can happen? Your son has his nosed pierced at his high school graduation? If that’s the focus, you’ve missed the point. Your child is graduating! As a parent, I drew the line for certain types of fashion and adornment. I explained my position and was open to discussion and debate, as it came up. For the most part, this was respected and worked very well.
My own trend following actually is part of who I am. Like my taste in music, it hasn’t altered much over the years. I grew and matured, have held highly professional jobs. At the same time, I was able to preserve the uniqueness – fad, if you will – of me. I’ve grown to call this “playing the game” and it helps me to maintain a definition of myself that I like and yet to fit in amongst folk who are inclined to forget that they too, have and do follow fads. I don’t see anyone still wearing culottes or fedoras and so…
The most denigrated fads and trends these days are still tattooing and piercing. It should be pointed out that tattooing, with its lengthy history among many cultures and eras, can hardly be called a fad. In the Twenties, many (many) respectable women were having tattoos done. Like other “Power Periods” for women, the Forties, the Eighties; fashion extremes reflected a power shift. The Twenties is the time where colourful nail polish was born. There are countless examples of how fashion, body adornment, music, even makeup styles have been created and recreated. You’ve seen the eyebrows of the mid-two thousands, right?
The real question posed by today’s prompt was what trends did you follow? I grew up in a very fluid time for these things and as an adult, I embrace many still. If you ask me the name of my social tribe, I am a “Punk Rocker”. The grandmother of Romantic, Goth, Emo, et al. I’m pretty sure that my high top Cons and Ramones tee shirts were a little disconcerting to the rest of the PTA but I “played the game”. I no longer sport all the outward accoutrements but much of it, like the music is still very much a part of who I am.
Fad? Don’t think so. We’re going on thirty years with this particular style. We gather likeminded people, there are no “Posers”. Am I a poser because I like my Dad’s Led Zeppelin or my Mum’s Queen? Not even a little bit. Fads are pokemon cards and crazy bones. Style; whatever that may be for you, is simply a nod to one small piece of many that can connect us to each other.
~ kei
20 February 2014 (Oops! I wrote an essay)

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/02/20/daily-prompt-new-sensation/

Cons and Pointes

tatoos-and-the-workplace