Lodestone

I wrap myself in a simple garment of cotton
One that holds in its threads the essence of you
Slipping in and out of my self and my soul
Catching stitches of the past and the present
Gently pulling my heart-strings closer together

Weaving what I once was into who I am now
Tiny healing stitches of you and me
What I am and who you see
Carried in each inhalation
Something both electrifying and benediction

Talisman or lodestone, I can’t be sure
Knowing only that mornings of late
I come awake more fully who I am
More completely my own woman
Wrapped in the scent of a man

~ kei
26 November 2016

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Yes, You

Circle back
Drawing nearer
Ever closer
So it seems

I’d sell my soul
If I could only
Make this more
Than just my dreams

~ kei
10 September 2016

As the weeks go by I’m finding that even the most casual viewing stirs that old something in my deepest core. Some fires can only be banked; never fully extinguished.

Petites Pensées ~ Sag Mir

Footprints in the snow, here and there around my house
Wanting in, wanting anonymity, wanting… what?
Just a dream but telling

Is it desire behind these words
Is it fear behind this silence
Do you fear the surrender

Or only your surrender to me?

~ kei
28 February 2016

Petites Pensées ~ Revenant

My day has been oddly off-kilter. A misty, otherworldly feeling since I woke this morning. So thrown off-balance by your appearance in my dreams. My subconscious must be more Welsh than the rest of me; it had to mine deep to find the image of you from then. There’s a lot that I would give to have the easy friendship, the smiles and intellectual banter that were conjured for me. The same that died the natural death of distance and years.

Even more do I wish that the warmth I felt suffuse every nerve and fibre when I looked into brown eyes that I once wished to drown in… could be a portent of what might come.

~ kei

5 January 2016

Mermaid’s Dreams

Dreams have finally returned to me…

We met again last night
You slipped quietly into mind’s view
A shadowed goodness, a friendly idea
I’m surprised to see you here

Subconscious is a capricious destination
Images confounding, conflicting
Sometimes horrific, sometimes healing
Would I could hold the words they conjure

Capricorn and Cancer
In the early days
I joked that
Together we made mud

I am a fearsome Dual Cap
Born on a cusp
Just like a wave
A fey and fluid mermaid
Unmindful of the tempest
Fearless and surefooted
At the heights

You almost impenetrable
Gruff, Guarded
Until the shell cracked
And the pearl revealed
In truth you were
My faithful shore
A place of safety
Where I could throw
The storm-tossed waves of me
Onto your sturdy beach

Stability, my island
Is what you were to me
And it seems in these
Golden years that should
Be together but are not
You still feel like shelter to me

The final shriek and howl
Red skies at morning
Left me dashed, broken, bashed
In an unknown place
You scattered with detritus
Of a ship run aground
A spiteful hurricane
Spun our world’s axis
Like a child’s top
The Coriolis effect
Recharted our lives

In dreams, the world is set to rights. Different but calm, zephyr winds and blue skies…

The ocean rhythm that
Pulses still in my veins
Is irrevocably drawn back
Calmer now but like the tide
Under the moon’s guidance
Drawn back to a less craggy
Weathered and yet enduring place

In dreams you are still the steady and everlasting shore
I feel your calming presence though we are no more
Ever my siren heart’s cove you are it seems
Respite from all these storms if only in dreams

~ kei
18 July 2015

For Richard. Who I never wrote for because we were busy living the words.

Sad Mermaid