Gaslighter ~ Acrostic IV

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Gaslighter

Greasepaint of a different hue
All about him and not about you
Slip into character ready or not
Living all the twists in his devious plot
Into his self-aggrandizing script you’ll be written
Gasping as his rewrites leave your head spinning
Has he made you the star of this little show
There are more special effects than you could know
Extras on his casting couch abound
Replacing you in an instant for his next go round

~ kei
5 April 2014

Paula Alquist Anton: If I were not mad, I could have helped you. Whatever you had done, I could have pitied and protected you. But because I am mad, I hate you. Because I am mad, I have betrayed you. And because I'm mad, I'm rejoicing in my heart, without a shred of pity, without a shred of regret, watching you go with glory in my heart!

The term “Gaslighting” stems from the use of them as a weapon in this old MGM classic film noir.

Definition of Acrostic form sourced from: Shadow Poetry:

“Acrostic Poetry is where the first letter of each line spells a word, usually using the same words as in the title.”

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Narcissistic Personality Disorder

NPD is a very real personality disorder. It isn’t “just” vanity, big ego or benign delusions that can be fixed by a partner or spouse. It is highly destructive and cannot be changed, regardless of anything you do. I was not aware of the difference, in fact, had no idea that NPD existed. Discovering this, putting a name to it, having a frame of reference for the actions and most importantly, knowing that NPD has a predatory aspect, has turned on a light in my life.
This blog has a wealth of information and resources: Let Me Reach on WordPress
Please visit, read and educate yourself, particularly if you are a woman who is wondering every day “Is it me? What am I doing wrong? How can I change to be better for him?” Read and discuss for our son’s and daughters’ sake. This information isn’t widely known and it must be shared.
These people are out there. They walk and talk just like us, on the surface and they may present in a very pretty package but they are not what they seem. Learn the signs and markers.

*Duly noted that there are male and female Narcissists. I am writing about my experience, not in generalities.*

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NaPoWriMo

National Poetry Writing Month

See more at the link above.

Roll Back The Stone

Though you try to conceal it
Your crime cannot be hidden
Enlist your pallbearers
Shovel all the dirt you can
Deny it three times
Just like your namesake
The body of evidence
Will not remain buried
Truth cannot be murdered
It is resurrected, time and again
Unchanged and unsullied
Confident it will be believed
The instant eyes are opened

~ kei
30 March 2014

Choosing not to believe does not negate a truth

Choosing not to believe does not negate a truth

Untitled

ETA 2014: All the things that I love that you stole from me

My faith, my love, even my ancestry

I take them back, I make them new. They never were meant for the ilk of you

Your theft may have sullied, your charade fooled some

But with these words, your evil is undone

Kateri Darkwolf, wild and free

Wolf spirited she was and ever shall be

You are not these things

Nor ever were

Now be gone

You thief

Forever

~~~~~

Her name is Kateri and her eyes are emerald green
Silky coat of white, a graceful vision from a dream
Waiting in regal silence for the return of her mate
Separated by circumstance, a most cruel twist of fate
Disdaining all the others, for there’s none could ever win
The love she saves for her alpha, ’til they are one again

~ kei, writing as Everybody Has A Story

22 February 2012

Kateri

Kateri

No Really, It’s You

“Baby, you’re the only one who understands me.” “Baby, I feel safe with you.” “Baby, I’ve never loved another woman like I love you.” “Baby, I could never replace you so quickly, I don’t work that way.”

Two of the most educational and empowering posts that I read on Let Me Reach are: Several Shades Of Smeared and How You Became The Other Woman. They both enlightened me to a recognizable behavioural pattern and have given me a little insight onto the patterns of others in the relationship dynamic with the Narcissist. Two things kept on – and and on bad nights still do – droning like bees in my brain: How can a Narcissist so easily discard someone that they claim they can’t function without. More importantly, why is there a seemingly endless line of women eager to step into your not even vacated place? My theory is it’s because they play the intrinsic strengths and weaknesses of women against one another.

Several Shades of Smeared had me revisiting a question that I was constantly asking myself. Why, when my Narc is clearly here, happy and attached to me are there women constantly throwing themselves at his feet? It seemed odd to me that these women would completely ignore my existence or treat me with disdain, while flaunting and flirting right in front of me. I’ve always had a theory that there really is no “Sisterhood”. Certainly, it flies out the window the moment that there are stay-at-home Mums and working Mums in a room together. What I didn’t know, is that a Narc will deliberately demean you to others behind your back, even while telling you that you’re his world. They will fabricate a story that paints you as an adversary and a lunatic to these women. It serves to isolate you and plays to the nurturer that many of us are. It also makes the flirting and flaunting that the Narc is doing, look somewhat more legitimate in the eyes of the ever-changing circle of people that surrounds them. Their new admirers are now special, part of the magic circle, confidantes. The cycle begins again, the new conquest is lined up.

How You Became The Other Woman, dovetailed to the above perfectly. And really? Who wouldn’t want to be the chosen of someone who on the surface, is good-looking, multi-talented and successful? Especially if you’re helping him escape or get over the “Crazy Bitch” that he is currently with. After all, he’s told you that she’s jealous, controlling, doesn’t love him.

There is always a female waiting and wanting to be “The One” for this beautiful, misunderstood creature. We’re helpers. We’re nurturers. Confidences about the crazy girlfriend or wife, turn into watching her for him, protecting him. Bonds and intimicies begin to form. You see how that works for the Narc?
Meanwhile, the partner’s at home, turning herself and her world inside out to be everything that she’s expected to be by him. Still wearing her hair how he likes it, still feathering their nest and wondering what the hell is happening.

In the internet world, Narcs have a huge new playground. They can be anything they want and it’s much more difficult to actually see the traits. All the more reason to be cautious and informed when a stranger confides in you. All the more reason to not make judgements about someone you’ve never spoken with. Surely, if you can give credence to the tales of woe of one stranger, you can at least ask the question of another?

Sit with that for a moment.

This isn’t High School Confidential. It’s not the better woman winning the prize. It’s enabling a predator by default, if one chooses to deliberately ignore or avoid the other side of a story.

~ kei

23 February 2014

~~~~~~~~~~

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

NPD is a very real personality disorder. It isn’t “just” vanity, big ego or benign delusions that can be fixed by a partner or spouse. It is highly destructive and cannot be changed, regardless of anything you do. I was not aware of the difference, in fact, had no idea that NPD existed. Discovering this, putting a name to it, having a frame of reference for the actions and most importantly, knowing that NPD has a predatory aspect, has turned on a light in my life.
This blog has a wealth of information and resources: Let Me Reach on WordPress
Please visit, read and educate yourself, particularly if you are a woman who is wondering every day “Is it me? What am I doing wrong? How can I change to be better for him?” Read and discuss for our daughters’ sake. This information isn’t widely known and it must be shared.
These people are out there. They walk and talk just like us, on the surface and they may present in a very pretty package but they are not what they seem. Learn the signs and markers.

**Duly noted that there are both males and females with NPD – I’m relaying my thoughts, opinions and experience not someone else’**

Love Lives Here Now

Love took a wrong turn at Albuquerque or maybe Albany
Love said build me a home and we will live together and for happily ever after
Love said “Baby, I can’t sleep without you, I’m nothing without you, I would die without you”
Love left her alone to die while he went Bowling… somewhere Green

She had built a house from nothing, it was small but a place to start
She furnished it with Budweiser and books; his favourite soap and dreams
She built it all for the two of them but it was a house of cards, it seems
She lives in a house that has never known his voice and will never know his love

At night she pulls her pillow over her head to muffle the shouting coming down the hall
At noon, she checks her mail to see if Love remembers her name, among all the others
At night she can hear the neighbour girl’s baby daddy being arrested
At dawn she wonders if three floors would only maim her if she jumped

The boy could see all Love’s colour, his hands knew Love’s feel
The man’s brush made Love on blank canvas and he made it real
The girl saw Love and it kissed her soul from two thousand miles away
The woman’s house is now a home, Love came to live with her today

~ kei
28 February 2014

Love by Ben

You can find Ben’s work on his website at: Expressions Of My Life –  An Evolution Of Art

Narcissist ~ Acrostic III

Narcissist

No compassion has he, nor understanding
Accountability shirked, always grandstanding
Rages and threats used as controls and tests
Concocting fantasies about life, love and success
Insinuating the worst about my actions and being
Suspicious of everyone I see,  everything I’m doing
Sugar sweet, so sexy, he sets the bait
Indignant when asked to reciprocate
Subterfuge he’s raised to the highest art
Twisting me to his ways, breaking my heart

~ kei
22 February 2014

Handsome is... as Handsome does.

Handsome is… as Handsome does.

Definition of Acrostic form sourced from: Shadow Poetry:

“Acrostic Poetry is where the first letter of each line spells a word, usually using the same words as in the title.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

NPD is a very real personality disorder. It isn’t “just” vanity, big ego or benign delusions that can be fixed by a partner or spouse. It is highly destructive and cannot be changed, regardless of anything you do. I was not aware of the difference, in fact, had no idea that NPD existed. Discovering this, putting a name to it, having a frame of reference for the actions and most importantly, knowing that NPD has a predatory aspect, has turned on a light in my life.
This blog has a wealth of information and resources: Let Me Reach on WordPress
Please visit, read and educate yourself, particularly if you are a woman who is wondering every day “Is it me? What am I doing wrong? How can I change to be better for him?” Read and discuss for our daughters’ sake. This information isn’t widely known and it must be shared.
These people are out there. They walk and talk just like us, on the surface and they may present in a very pretty package but they are not what they seem. Learn the signs and markers.