Aside

~ All of the communication skills ~

If you’re over the age of thirteen and still using “The Silent Treatment” as a method for conveying your thoughts and opinions…

The ONLY thing that you’re communicating is that you’re immature, cowardly and rude.

And. You’re a big fat meany-pants poopy butt head with a head for a butt! :p

~ kei
16 September 2016

Petites Pensées

Last night, as I studied your face
(the brown eyes and curls I loved, now a semi stranger’s pixels)

I thought how much better the world would be
(i would be, you would be, even if it is in this two-dimensional world)

If you didn’t confuse empathetic with pathetic, reaching for grasping
(the world can be an unkind place but my heart will always be a haven, even for you)

~ kei
18 March 2016

Petites Pensées ~ Equanimity

As a straightforward person

It took me a while to understand

There wasn’t a pause to  second guess my actions

I know I haven’t done anything wrong

It’s that with you, I can do nothing right

Though you may have second guessed my intentions

I stand by them with faith in simple truths

And in your ability to come around

~ kei

5 March 2016

Silence Scalpel Sharp

Some of the thoughts that kept me up last night are the hardest for me to wrap my head around:

~~~~~

How is it possible to become invisible to a person who once loved you beyond reason?

~~~~~
Finally understanding that someone would rather hurt you than be polite and that a person who you thought knew you inside and out is able to switch himself off emotionally to the pain and suffering he is causing

~~~~~
That some people use shunning as a form of expression, telling themselves and others that they are the victim. They use silence to control the other person while denying they are the problem. They use passive aggressive punishment because of their own perceived demands by the other person

~~~~~
Being ignored causes a pain that the body perceives as physical – fact

~~~~~
I’d rather be hurt quick and clean with a truth than suffer the phantom limb of lost self-esteem and questions for a lifetime

~~~~~
The only thing ignoring a person conveys is that you are too immature / frightened / calloused to behave decently. How cold can one be to know that your victim is suffering but feel justified to do nothing about it and go on simply ignoring it?

~~~~~
The ‘Silent Treatment’ is a mind game and it is abusive

~~~~~
I find it hard to let go if I’ve been led to believe one thing, even if I’m being shown another. I will give someone the benefit of the doubt to my own detriment. I will continue to reach out, to treat them with some version of the former friendship or regard because that is what caring people do. The one trait that I value highly in myself is my empathy and I won’t allow another’s cruelty or rude behaviour stop me from being who I am. If my intentions are perceived as weakness or neediness I can only remind myself that it takes courage and strength to reach out despite my misgivings. Why? Because I know that perceptions can only be changed when people communicate

~~~~~
We’ve probably all done it or been subject to it. ‘The Silent Treatment’ is a schoolyard tactic and most of us know how quickly the shunned will fall in line. Why though, do adults choose to do this? I’m mystified that in this age that lauds communication, where people are constantly raging about lack of honesty in relationships and whingeing about decency in general; some people still fall back on acting like a bully to make a point or  to get what they want.

~ kei
29 February 2016
(I’m fine, just stringing together some old and recurring thoughts. K~xx)

Petites Pensées ~ Sag Mir

Footprints in the snow, here and there around my house
Wanting in, wanting anonymity, wanting… what?
Just a dream but telling

Is it desire behind these words
Is it fear behind this silence
Do you fear the surrender

Or only your surrender to me?

~ kei
28 February 2016