From before Confederation and to this day… This family stands on guard.
Since before Confederation, The American Revolution, The Boer War, The War of 1812, First World War, Second World War, Korea. On land, on sea, in air – my family has been proud to serve, fight and die for this country and yours. I wish I could honour all of them with a photo or a word or two. I’ll settle with the simplest and the most heartfelt.
Something that I’ve noticed when well-intentioned friends and family offer to help “Spoonie” me:
Those offers are more appreciated than you know; the tricky part is the follow through.
I often hear “you never asked!” or “I didn’t know what you needed” or “Wish I could but that day doesn’t work”.
It totally changes the dynamic from someone understanding that you need assistance and making that happen and you being put in the position of asking a favour, two very different things.
Here’s the thing: as a formerly vivacious, uber-capable person, it kills me to ask for help. I never have, not from my parents, not from anyone. My self-esteem as a fully functioning adult is pretty beaten up already.
If you genuinely want to help, having a take charge attitude is incredibly helpful to someone like me. It shows me that you have the time and willingness. It tells me that I’m not cutting in to your personal or family time. It makes me feel that I still have value and am not burdening you.
There are so many things that you can do without being asked that improve quality of life for “Spoonies”:
Offer to help get garbage to the curb
Shovel out a walkway; lend your green thumb for some gardening
Drop off a casserole; send Skip the Dishes gift cards
Help with organizing files, cupboards, closets
Splurge on a house cleaning service gift card, it takes the embarrassment of an untidy out of the mix
Offer to help picking up groceries or shopping or send complimentary Uber / Lyft rides
Splurge on paraffin manicures or pedicures for friends with arthritis or fibro
Doing these things spontaneously, offering them at any time rather waiting to be asked is huge for me. A friend who also understands that sometimes shit just gotta get done and that every visit doesn’t need to be or should be a social event is golden. I want to see you, need to be connected to people who know who I was but every once in a while, if you could throw on a Super Hero cape, that’d be amaze-balls!
No one wants to feel indebted, least of all the people in your life who for whatever reason may not be able to reciprocate in kind. There are so many other things that I or we can still do to enhance or enrich friendships, all you need to do is be there and really mean it.
29 October 2018
Until the moment
Your heart is beating again
My heart remains still
17 October 2018
❤ ~ Gammi, Gammy, Gami, Grammie, Grammy, Grams, Mammy, MeMa, Meema, Nan, Nana, Nanna, Ona, Onna, Bomma, Jiddah, Pog, Yaya, Bibi, Babushka, Nonna, Tutu, Kuku, Grand-mère, Bunica, Lola, Yeay, Oba-chan, Sobo, Awa, Savta, Maimeó, Avó, Abuela, Halmoni, NaiNai ~ ❤
Every Child Matters
Will you come to me tonight
You were right, it’s what I want
Let’s drive along the Parkway
We’ll revisit our old haunts
Lets shelter under the willow
Where no prying eyes can see
My body’s aching for your touch
Unwrap yourself for me
Your lips are benediction
As you bend your mouth to mine
Kisses that are sweetened
With experience and time
Share the lessons not forgotten
Held in check until you came
Every secret, searing memory
Is sparked to fiery life again
And now our bodies crash together
Truth speaks in sweat and seed
Time reveals we are a diamond
Unwrap yourself for me
27 May 2015, reworked 29 September 2018