Disconnected in December

Is it just me?

I’m feeling a little displaced… like I woke up in the wrong decade
Forget that it’s been a shite year… not just for me but for the world

I love this season. I am grateful but… I feel so… untethered
I miss my family… we’ve become the Four Solitudes

Boxes of ornaments are shelved like reliquaries
No point getting them out… we’re locked down again

I’m listening to carols and daydreaming about Christmas Past
Lying under my parent’s tree, holding hands with a brown-eyed boy

That moment of perfection is caught in the corner of my own eye
Blurring the edges of this unkempt living room… it’s all good

My view has softened from the harsh reality of a Covid Christmas
To a Christmas long ago when the world really was magic. the possibilities were endless and alone was unthinkable, unimaginable in that perfect moment.

Slipping out of view, slipping down my cheek…

~ kei
22 December 2020

2 thoughts on “Disconnected in December

  1. With Covid19 I am separated from family 2,800 miles that is without Covid!9. I do have my family of fiends here as well but yes that Magic of Christmas past is still magical in my memory. We are never alone at Christmas. We are surrounded by family in a spirit sense and also with family that have crossed over to the other side. I will be celebrating with my deceased partner. I owned christmas this year. I am going to have a special christmas dinner this year and i will do all the things I like. No it won’t be the same but at least I will have made a different memory. Happy Yuletide. Don’t get discouraged. Celebrate, make it your own.

    Liked by 1 person

    • There’s much to be grateful for and some losses that will take time to reconcile. I’m keeping an open mind and heart as always.
      Bright Blessings JP, xo


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