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Finding Inspiration

So… I hate spam and spammers are like, the carbuncle on the arse of the Internet, IMHO.

However, after seeing this statistic, I’m feeling like maybe I could use some of the spammers’ persistence and dedication.

Spammers: Get a real job.

Spammers: Get a real job.

The thought of how many stories and poems I could produce, if only I had the single-mindedness of a spammer is inspiration wrapped up in a cod liver oil capsule.

30, 003 spam comments. That equates to 10, 001 for each year that I’ve been on WordPress and 100 times the number of legit comments I’ve accumulated. These numbers reflect what Akismet has caught. Being OCD, I regularly delete many misspelled missives every day. I never do so without marvelling at the creative content – the length, the characters, the subjects! Atrocious spelling, bizarre sentence structure and assumptions about my sexuality, prowess and preferences notwithstanding…

Anywayyyy…

Congrats Akismet, you save this gal from having to come up with supercilious, condescending and scatological responses to all these “comments” Keep up the good work – seriously – and perhaps consider a feature for we do-it-yourself comment killers…?

I’d love if each time I deleted a spam post, the originator got the equivalent voltage of a cattle prod up their nose!!

~ kei
3 June 2015

11 thoughts on “Finding Inspiration”

  1. Yay ! Good old Akismet ! I have nearly 20,000 comments plus nearly 120,000 Akismet. Most of that spam was my fault because I approved 4 on-topic anonymous comments when I was a baby blogger. One day my Notifier filled with spam, 60+ an hour. A Happiness Engineer suggested that I go through the 6,000 comments I had then and delete any anonymous comments which I did. Within 3 days no more spam in my Notifier. Akismet blocked thousands during that time as well. So, unless the anonymous comment is in the style and signed with a name you know, delete it straight away ! Good post Karin 😀 ❤

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    • It’s one of those necessary evils of being online. When I do go in to clear them out, I really am amazed at the effort put into these – even those that are an incomprehensible garble – I sometimes wonder what they hope to gain from these.
      I really like my cattle prod idea 😈 😄

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      • Some of them are so long as well. I understand it’s all computer generated using phrases found on the internet plus garble, not only to annoy people, but looking for weaknesses to access computers. The cattle prod is a great idea. Just need to find the toe rag masterminding the spam 😛

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      • Well, I’ve got time to read your posts Karin 😀
        At least I know I am not computer generated ……error ….. I have a “washing the dishes” virus. Got to go 😉

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