You Want To Get Caught

Insomnia, sort of but mostly a manic phase of ADD
My brain is in full on squirrel monkey mode
Two AM thoughts have me up and typing at the Witching Hour
I remember having to explain this term to P, he’d not heard it before
Ironic, as most of my street smarts about the Information Highway were lessons he taught
Funny too that I’m awake due to the asshats driving by… just another spring time, post studies, pre exam, suburban Friday night. I guess it’s something that these are 3D asshats
Roads, highways, crossroads and forks
I’m older than dirt (older than 31/4’s, older than DOS, older than MacIntosh) in Internet years. The short story is, I grew up with it and have never been without a computer. I like to think I’m pretty savvy… I grew up with Northern Telecom HQ in my backyard, I worked for Mitel, Newbridge and iSTAT. I thought I knew some some. That’s always the downfall, right?
We think we know about this because we know that
So, the thing is, I’ve had some horrific experiences on the Internet and if it could happen to me, it could happen to anyone
If you’re putting it on the Internet, you want to get caught or you want someone else to find it. No, not quite the same thing
You think a carbon footprint is hard to minimize? When solid actions hit bandwidth they become dust in the wind and can’t ever be erased or hidden. Ever. Everything leaves a trail
I don’t know why I care about a perfect stranger… I can’t even say what not to do because it sounds preachy and judgemental but I can say why not to
If it’s on the Internet, it can be found. Someone will look for it, or stumble over it, even if it’s been deleted, even if the most elaborate schemes have been concocted to hide it. It might be manufactured – mostly what happened to me – or it might be your own choice but that shit is out there forever. In the context of a loving relationship, I’ve done same… and when the relationship ended… Not the same as those who “just play” or are having an affair but the result was the same

So if you really don’t want your husband / boyfriend / wife / girlfriend to know… don’t post those pictures, videos, whatever. It’s bloody sad that it’s not just teenagers who are the only idiots about this… I mean those “adults” who do this deliberately… yeah, yeah, thrilling and all that shit but what happens when the breakup comes, you forget to log off, she doesn’t like being dumped, he takes an interest in your Pinterest
Or maybe it happens like with me… He forgot that he gave me all his logins, to all his blogs, his Facebook, I ran both our FB pages at different times, had his banking info… on and on… Maybe think about that before you send a message or photo to someone
Gah!! My retinas!!
Funny how our choices and actions can be in direct opposite to what we say we want
You said you don’t want him to know, that you love him – your words. Then stop posting the pictures, the videos and all the other shit you’re doing. Your actions say you want to get caught. The result will be you’ll lose him. Have the balls to end it and let him keep his dignity or stop doing what you’re doing. I do care and am worried for you
It’s that simple
Not preachin’, just sleepless as the anniversary and the other anniversary are just hours away now and all that dust in the wind that he, me and the others kicked up, swirls all around my thoughts… and can still be found in virtual corners

~ kei
23 May 2015

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13 thoughts on “You Want To Get Caught

    • Don’t make me fall in love with you
      Pachyderm of cherub cheek hue
      Before sun dries the morrow’s dew
      You Sir shall have your Clerihew

      **gasp, falter, stumble** coffee. STAT!

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    • Dearest Elephant, I’m smiling huge, which is an astronomical achievement for you (I don’t speak before my 2nd coffee and rarely manage facial movement until halfway through the 1st!) 😀

      I owe you a clerihew and a rictameter, once I’m fully awake and the Saturday chores are accomplished and thank you ❤

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  1. So true ! When published, it’s out there, gone like dust in the wind. Good post my friend even in the early hours of the morning. 😀 ❤

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    • I hope it reaches the eyes it’s meant for. I think I’m watching someone implode and unfortunately, I don’t know them very well but I know the signs, if from a different angle.
      Thanks Ralph and you have a fantastic Saturday 🙂

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      • That is the true true Tomasz. This person though, is saying one thing and doing another and I have no way of knowing if it’s attention seeking or true conflict with a side of stupid (let’s face it, most adults know it’s stupid to be naked or unfaithful on the Internet). I can’t stand by and watch the train wreck, they read here and I hope they see my good intentions.

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      • I hope it works out for them. I don’t believe for a moment that they are writing fiction or fantasy but it’s not for me to parent another adult, only to tell what I know from my own experience. After this, I’m done, not sticking around for the dénouement of doom! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Understood and appreciated compassion from you…but you know as well as I that blogging can be an outlet for creative fiction and/or fantasy. I try to keep this in mind.

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    • Absolutely… until it’s invitations to platforms that aren’t blogging… and a significant escalation of a self-destructive behaviour.

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  3. Well, I cannot argue with that…but from a distance it is very difficult to determine fact, especially from a blog. I’m certain that there is a guardian angel watching to keep the train on it’s tracks.

    Have a great holiday.

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