I lost my Self
Rather, my Self was locked in a closet
By a very bad man
The monster is gone
No more Peter the Plagiarphilanderiphile Poet
Six months since I shut the door
The Frightening Fifield of Fuckover
Was dumped in the bin with his rubbish
And in certain moments I almost feel normal
My own Self realizes there won’t be hurt today
She flares up, happy, laughing, unafraid
Like a brief solar flare
I remember who I really am
But that brief moment of happiness
Is like a four-year old on apple juice
Running with scissors
Agog on the joy of freedom
Like all unguarded, unsupervised expressions
Sometimes, it bumps into things, knocks them down
Things get damaged
There are inevitable hurts
My fledgling self
Needs an emotional Nanny
Oh Mary Poppins?
Have you a tether in that bag
Rein me in from these outbursts
Until I know how to walk like a grownup
How to love without damage
Laugh without hysteria
How to hear without the echo of the monster
Again
~ kei
17 July 2014
Oh my god, K, I can so identify with this. Beautiful imagery, so fine and fragile and hesitantly joyous. Hugs and hopes, Ali xxx
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Thank you Ali, I guess that’s where I’m at in this whole recovery thing. Wanting desperately to get back to Me but just not quite there yet.
It’s a process and so many ups and downs. I’m aiming for the calm eye of the storm today. Hope all is well with you. K~xx
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AnElephantCant let his friend be hurt
It seems like some bad person cons her
Please don’t be afraid
If more nasties are said
AnElephant pops round and sits on the monster
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Thank you Elephant. That image made me smile.
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