Untitled

Running dry… the rain that continues to fall
I find my thoughts ever yearning for something, someone
Struggling to make beautiful words out of ugly thoughts
Labouriously trying to rewire the connections wrought
So deeply conditioned
Suspicions buried deep in my head
Destroy peace of mind
Make a trap of my bed
I can’t seem to stop looking for betrayal
The smallest things claw at my guts
Am I just one of the parade
A momentary diversion
Waking alone with horrible dreams
A lover with two knives one in each hand
Reaching to hug me with those knives held aloft
Ready to plunge in my back even as his mouth seeks mine
Running dry… no poetry
Alone with these thoughts
The horrific losses
Rain is falling endlessly
Alone I grieve
The loss of me

~ kei
26 April 2014

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4 thoughts on “Untitled

  1. Oh, poor you, K: my heart goes out to you. All I can say is that I know this feeling only too well. Big hugs. xxx

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    • Thank you Ali, big hugs right back to you. I truly did have this nightmare in the wee hours. Something triggered my PTSD and I’m in the worst anxious blue funk right now… I’m trying to salvage my day, too many wonderful people who need me and so jumping off the computer again to keep things level. K~xo

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