Fair question. The answer is addressed at the website of Dr. Sam Vaknin, an expert in the field of Narcissist Personality Disorder.
You can find the full text in his book: Malignant Self Love
“He writes such beautiful words of love, how can he be a Narcissist?” Narcissists are not capable of love in the same way normal humans are, they are however, expert chameleons. Parrots can mimic human speech. Predators can research what words humans respond to.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
NPD is a very real personality disorder. It isn’t “just” vanity, big ego or benign delusions that can be fixed by a partner or spouse. It is highly destructive and cannot be changed, regardless of anything you do. I was not aware of the difference, in fact, had no idea that NPD existed. Discovering this, putting a name to it, having a frame of reference for the actions and most importantly, knowing that NPD has a predatory aspect, has turned on a light in my life.
This blog has a wealth of information and resources: Let Me Reach on WordPress
Please visit, read and educate yourself, particularly if you are a woman who is wondering every day “Is it me? What am I doing wrong? How can I change to be better for him?” Read and discuss for our daughters’ sake. This information isn’t widely known and it must be shared.
These people are out there. They walk and talk just like us, on the surface and they may present in a very pretty package but they are not what they seem. Learn the signs and markers.