Some Tongue In Cheek Deep Thought for the Weekly Writing Challenge: My Funny Valentine?
It’s not that I dislike the true spirit of Valentine’s day per se or don’t like heartfelt good wishes…
I am all over the for realz feelz.
I worked in a Hallmark card shop years ago and seeing hulking brave men reduced to quivering jello, throwing their credit cards through the crack as we closed the doors and hearing the pathetic whimper of “I forgot it was Valentine’s Day, SHE’s gonna kill me, I’ll take ANYTHING”!! Let’s say, I was left to question the authenticity of the sentiment from a dude who gave a gift while looking like a deer in the headlights and to wonder a LOT about how smart, independent women turn into Femzilla unless placated with these burnt offerings on a certain day. I’ve heard talk in the lunch room about how THAT ring is expected or how there better be a rose petal trail to the candle lit, chocolate festooned boudoir… Yes Shirley. Your 60-year-old, hard-working plumber significant other will be all over that one!
Well, lets just say if you’re gonna give me gas station flowers and a
Happy Birthday Valentines day card. Please. Don’t bother. Now, if you want to bring home Chinese and give me a back rub on April 29th or October 12th, for no damn reason at all, THAT’s meaningful.
The legend of how the first written valentine originated is a lovely one. The soon to be martyred Valentine, wrote a letter to his jailer’s daughter, signing it as “your Valentine”. She planted a flowering almond tree beside his grave in his memory and it has come to represent abiding love and friendship. The heartfelt sentiment of the day is wonderful!
And so, in the spirit of the fast-approaching day, what is your favourite “You’re My Sweet Pookie Bear” song and your favourite “Bugger Off You Jerk” song? Feel free to comment or post a link to your favourite I love you or I hate you tune.
A few I can think of are: “Make Me Do Anything You Want” by Helix – of course, the Ballerina and the Bad Boy (yes, the original is epic too) – and “I’m On Fire For You Baby” by April Wine are tied for the gooshy sentimental hits. “Rearranged” by Limp Bizkit, “You’re So Vain” by Carly Simon (and the video is funny! Gotta watch it) and “She Hates Me” by Puddle Of Mudd” are tied for my “go play in the traffic” selections. I grew up in a musical household, so this list could be endless!
So. Take THAT St. Hallmark. Music is a gift for everyone and has less calories than chocolate!