“A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.”
I have no idea who made up that quote but right now, it sounds like the second stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.
I’m leaving room for a first stupidest thing based on the year that I’ve just barely survived.
Not to knock feminism and all that awesome good girl stuff.
There is no requirement for a dude to be in this house. I can fix my own brakes on my bicycle. I can get my empties to the beer store, even though I feel as though the world is staring at me when I do. I can even do my own minor plumbing repairs.
What I can’t do is wrap my arms around me.
There is no amount of anything that stops this fever, stops this ache, stops this need. There is no replacement for the hard planes and angles of a you, wrapped around the softness and curves of a me. Nothing to stop the screaming in my head when it starts, no one to grab me and hold me tight when I can’t stop the hurting and start punching walls.
The scorch of my desire has me wanting to crawl out of my own skin.
And don’t tell me I’m pretty and that I’m smart and that all the boys are just dying to get into my backyard. I barely got out of high school alive and…
I don’t believe you.
I’ve seen how humans replace humans with a word, a keystroke, a signatory line. If we’re all so damn wonderful, why are half of us still alone? Even the halves that are part of a whole?
I swear to whatever, this happily ever after is the worst fucking bill of goods ever foisted off on idiots that want to believe it.
Has anybody seen the key to my bike chain?
5 November 2013