I never wrote for you
This is something that I only noticed recently
When that disquiet in my mind finally formed itself into the thought
I felt terrible
Terrible has become an everyday way for me to feel
This was worse than that
On the heels of the realization came also the images of what we have been
Of what we are not
I wondered to myself if maybe I didn’t write for you because we were both too busy living a real life
Retrospect tells me now that you showed your love in so many small ways that perhaps weren’t flowery or poetical but they were real and to this very moment, I can see the evidence of how you cared
I will never stop feeling guilty and ashamed for having allowed my own frustrated dreams to take me away from a place where we might have found our way back to each other
I made my choice at that crossroad and the Devil found me
Now I can say that I have written something for you. I only wish that it wasn’t an obituary for what was once you and me.
~ KbT
29 October 2013