On The Other Side Of Love

The worst part about missing you is that I don’t know who I am missing

I can barely explain it to myself, wrap my head around it all

I miss who I thought I knew

Miss my sweet Boo

Sometimes, you weren’t him though

There were times when you were off in your other world

The one where I never existed, perhaps as a source of entertainment

I just don’t know

There are only the things that I can see, did see

A world where Baby was invisible

Where women who harmed me were allowed to be

Where they showed up time and time again

Each time they did, a little more of me was erased

By making me invisible, you made yourself a stranger to me

Can I even make you understand how this makes me feel?

To have opened the core of my being to someone

Only to find that I had to be kept separate, in a little fantasy world

To find that the one person who hurt me the most

Was important enough to you to keep in that world, in a place of honour even

I am broken in ways that I cannot even begin to fathom

And the biggest ache is just how much I miss the man I thought you were

How much I miss the fantasy that I thought was real

All the things that had become my reality

Did you ever really love me?

~ KbT

23 October 2013