The Reluctant Watcher

I wonder sometimes how it is you have the faith to entrust this beautiful human to my safekeeping.

I thought my days of guardianship had long gone.

I was sure that I was on your chosen place for me now. And yet, here I am in a place that I barely understand.

You have placed this perfectly imperfect gem into my hands. And I am grateful everyday for your faith in me but…

You know I am old, you know the cost of the fall to me.

In knowing, I see the increasing difficulty of my tests. I accept that this must be for me to remain in grace.

In knowing, I still shake my fists as any human. I feel human anger, futility at the bonds placed on me this time.

How will I know what is right? Time is no friend to these skills and weapons once kept so finely honed.

How will I achieve what is that you wish? I am a broken down angel, too long among the banal and mundane of an earthly existence.

Help me with this gift you’ve given me. He is rare, unique, meant for so much, tempered and strong already.

Help me put aside my too human-like failings. I must be strong, live up to my former ideals, my own kind.

In this moment, I wish that I could go home. I am so afraid that I will make a mistake and never see Gabriel or Michael again.

In this moment, I feel the scars down my shoulders and back burn like a brand. I am afraid that his love has become my holy fire.

This man, this paragon among all men, is my charge and my chosen.

This man, your beloved, has returned A Fallen from the frozen.