Old Soldiers And Fallen Angels

I’m Canadian and observe Remembrance Day on November 11 each year. I was engaged to an American who served and I had got in the habit of posting my personal observances on Memorial Day and Veteran’s Day. This 25th of May will mark the one year interval since his death and my former wedding anniversary… lots of memories. So, one last time.

Once upon a time, I loved a soldier…

His topaz eyes turned to me, dusty
In the middle of the blazing desert
Pleading for the coolness
Of the rain I couldn’t make fall
Onto the furnace raging in his soul
And all around him
While the bombs fell and ghosts disguised
As comrades lay down in the burning sand
With all his hopes and dreams
And I felt his hold slipping, losing grip
From a thousand miles away
Felt his sanity slip… Calling me
Over the sound of a world exploding
I could taste copper in my mouth
And the blood in my eyes obscured
The river where we had lain so long ago
The green grass under my naked back
His hips held tight entwined in my thighs
Those eyes and blue skies
Helicopter rotor, bombs, mortars
I felt him slip away from me and into
The lying arms of baked, sere ground
The ringing in my ears was a dirge
Moaning my name and I came
To cover his body with green
With my riverbanks and oceans
And dreams of what we should have been
I have sung him home to my arms
To hold him here in the last breath
Of these old and aching lungs
And I will happily relinquish this breath
To hold his hand again, to run
To jump into the cold water
Hold his perfect body close to mine
Just one more time
On riverbanks of green

© Karin Bole Tupper
23 November 2012

pf beret flash bad boy smoking 2013

You Want To Get Caught

Insomnia, sort of but mostly a manic phase of ADD
My brain is in full on squirrel monkey mode
Two AM thoughts have me up and typing at the Witching Hour
I remember having to explain this term to P, he’d not heard it before
Ironic, as most of my street smarts about the Information Highway were lessons he taught
Funny too that I’m awake due to the asshats driving by… just another spring time, post studies, pre exam, suburban Friday night. I guess it’s something that these are 3D asshats
Roads, highways, crossroads and forks
I’m older than dirt (older than 31/4’s, older than DOS, older than MacIntosh) in Internet years. The short story is, I grew up with it and have never been without a computer. I like to think I’m pretty savvy… I grew up with Northern Telecom HQ in my backyard, I worked for Mitel, Newbridge and iSTAT. I thought I knew some some. That’s always the downfall, right?
We think we know about this because we know that
So, the thing is, I’ve had some horrific experiences on the Internet and if it could happen to me, it could happen to anyone
If you’re putting it on the Internet, you want to get caught or you want someone else to find it. No, not quite the same thing
You think a carbon footprint is hard to minimize? When solid actions hit bandwidth they become dust in the wind and can’t ever be erased or hidden. Ever. Everything leaves a trail
I don’t know why I care about a perfect stranger… I can’t even say what not to do because it sounds preachy and judgemental but I can say why not to
If it’s on the Internet, it can be found. Someone will look for it, or stumble over it, even if it’s been deleted, even if the most elaborate schemes have been concocted to hide it. It might be manufactured – mostly what happened to me – or it might be your own choice but that shit is out there forever. In the context of a loving relationship, I’ve done same… and when the relationship ended… Not the same as those who “just play” or are having an affair but the result was the same

So if you really don’t want your husband / boyfriend / wife / girlfriend to know… don’t post those pictures, videos, whatever. It’s bloody sad that it’s not just teenagers who are the only idiots about this… I mean those “adults” who do this deliberately… yeah, yeah, thrilling and all that shit but what happens when the breakup comes, you forget to log off, she doesn’t like being dumped, he takes an interest in your Pinterest
Or maybe it happens like with me… He forgot that he gave me all his logins, to all his blogs, his Facebook, I ran both our FB pages at different times, had his banking info… on and on… Maybe think about that before you send a message or photo to someone
Gah!! My retinas!!
Funny how our choices and actions can be in direct opposite to what we say we want
You said you don’t want him to know, that you love him – your words. Then stop posting the pictures, the videos and all the other shit you’re doing. Your actions say you want to get caught. The result will be you’ll lose him. Have the balls to end it and let him keep his dignity or stop doing what you’re doing. I do care and am worried for you
It’s that simple
Not preachin’, just sleepless as the anniversary and the other anniversary are just hours away now and all that dust in the wind that he, me and the others kicked up, swirls all around my thoughts… and can still be found in virtual corners

~ kei
23 May 2015

Contused And Conflicted

I’m black and blue all over
Feels like four rounds with Ali
But the bruises are invisible
Because my opponent is me

I’m bleeding blood and roses
In spilled ink and tattoos
But I can’t forego this dark Muse
Because my assailant is you

~ kei
22 May 2015

David Hale Rose Inkwell Tattoo

©David Hale Rose Inkwell Tattoo

It’s My Anniversary!

I’m not sure if I should be stoked to last this long or mad at myself for forgetting and now having to buy me gas station flowers and some Red Bull to… err… celebrate! ;-)

Three years WordPress… it’s been wild, wooly, weird and wonderful. I’m still here, still spinning yarns (no pun) and poetically poet-ing.

Thank you all you amazing people who take time from your own day to come and read me. It really does make my day (in the Sally Field way, not the Clint Eastwood way)

Cheers all! You keep me smiling :)

Happy Three Years!

Happy Three Years!

A Girl’s Gotta Eat

So, fair warning, this’ll show up on “All Of The Blogs!” today.

I have books for sale on Amazon and I’d love if you’d download  one or three.

You can find them here, via my Amazon Author profile: Spilled Ink
and the fancy widget is on the right sidebar here: So Many Vices, So Little Time

KeiB Designs and Karin Bole Tupper – cheaper than a Barista’s specialty and always gluten, lactose and calorie-free!

~ kei

If you’d like to share, please feel free