St. Hallmark Day ~ Third Annual Massacre

Some Tongue In Very Cheeky Thoughts

Once again, St. Hallmark Day is almost upon us. Once again I’ll inflict that time-honoured  tradition that I started doing on Facebook several years ago.

Look out Cupid! The Valentine’s Evisceration is set to begin.

~~~~~

Basically, I’ve always felt that Valentine’s Day is an utter travesty and in my first St. Hallmark Day post on WordPress, I mention why. How St. Valentine’s Day came to be associated with chocolate, carats and tawdry Walmart lingerie is beyond me and my thought from then stands:

“Well, lets just say if you’re gonna give me gas station flowers and a Happy Birthday  Valentines day card. Please. Don’t bother. Now, if you want to bring home Thai and give me a foot rub on April 18th or October 12th, for no damn reason at all, THAT’s meaningful.”

~~~~~

And please none of those idiotic ‘Singles Awareness Day’ posts. For the love of whatever deity!! Don’t shit all over someone else’ thing just because you don’t have it (same goes for single mothers/ fathers who post snarky crap on Mothers Day/Fathers Day. You get your day, don’t shit on someone else’) It’s as juvenile as being mad that someone has a jag and you take the bus. Put on your grown up undies. Three hundred sixty-four days of the year, Singles are desperate to shed the title, then suddenly they want to ruin it for Couples…?

I weep for the future of Humanity.

~~~~~

So Cupid… What the freakin’ hell man?!

I know that you probably have some issues, coming from a broken home and all. As the son of the love goddess Venus and the war god Mars, I bet things got a little intense with Mum and Daddy but that’s no reason to take it out on humans for all eternity! That last one that you darted for me? That should have been a blow gun… Next time, leave it in the hands of the experts or I’ll be speaking to your Grandpappy and I’ll bet you don’t want to be grounded by Jupiter.

Crazed Cupid, Valentine, Funny

I stumbled on this video a long while back and I swear my last Vile-en-tine starred!! Always loved Carly Simon and even more so after watching this.

And to cap it off, one for the boys. I know you’re often left bewildered by the appearance of evil pod women who steal your normally sane partners on every 14 February. Take heart and start leaving the same kind of hints she does because 14 March is right round the corner!

How Do I Love Thee?

Reblog – why not? He’s too pretty to not share and Mamasan can’t ground me ’cause this one’s ‘clean’!

Eclectic Unconfined

Let me count the ways and every means

One loop of silver in your ear

Two tiny freckles at the base of your neck

One surgery scar on your knee

Two perfect nipples like tiny pebbles

Three fillings in your teeth

Ten guitar-player fingers

On a working man’s hands

One patrician nose

That couldn’t avoid a long ago football

One Hundred lashes a girl would envy

Two perfect buttocks, firm in my hands

All of the things that add up to

The measure of my man

~ kei
8 February 2016

Light and Shadow, Male, Man

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Sprich Mit Mir

If you should stumble further than old photographs…

Eclectic Unconfined

If you knew how badly I want it to be you…
I see the flag and suddenly I’m having Vonnegut-esque conversations with myself
This flag, this timing, this wishful thinking
Is it you?
Do you care enough to come here?
Do you like what you see?
Do you remember me?
I don’t know. I don’t care
I care some. More than a little
And if you come what is it you want?
Anything at all or what you’d get from any someone
You can’t you know
Of course you know
Or you wouldn’t be here
Wondering if I write for you
And who and where and which one
All of them and none
If you knew how badly I want it to be you…

~ kei
4 February 2016

… this is way too ‘clean’ and oblique to be here but if it finds the eyes it’s meant for the…

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Aside ~ Fly Away

 

Ever want to wind up and pop that fluffy bird of hope that perches in your heart? Maybe tweak one of its tail feathers?

Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all. ~Emily Dickinson

Bird, Sttaaahhhhppp!!! Why does my heart leap to see his face in my newsfeed? Why did that last box I unpacked contain his letters from University and beyond? Why, when it has been made perfectly clear that he will not speak does that mutant little Ornithurae continue to make me think that he might?! He’s a a big butt head with a head like a butt and I don’t want him to speak but that traitorous turkey warbles away…

How ’bout you just bugger off with that infernal ‘bluebird of happiness’?

Maybe go poop on his head for me…